So here we are going into week six of social distancing. Like everyone else, we have had our share of good days and bad days, neutral days and a few “I am so fucking over this” days. Through it all, we have continued to nurture various relationships, including our own. And, while in some cases this is easier done than in others, we are committed to building connections in their various forms and functions.
Along these lines, my relationship with Alex continues to blossom. We text each other multiple times a day, often sexy texts, sometimes silly ones and always communication that bring us closer together. It has been amazing to see how we are building a deep emotional connection, while sustaining the intense chemistry we first felt at our initial meeting – all through technology. We have weekly video chats that include physical intimacy that, while virtual, is also very real and authentic. I have struggled with trying to name, define or quantify our relationship, but have given up, realizing that labels do not matter; what we know that we feel for each other does.
Continue reading Love, Lust and Potential Loss in the Time of Coronavirus
When this journey first started, it was all roses and unicorns, but as noted, lately, there have been many ups and downs, so my outlook has become decidedly less rosy. Instead, things have become more challenging as we maneuver the complexities of being in a polyamorous relationship.
Our initial foray focused on a simple opening up of the marriage – with ethical non-monogamy, but no emotional attachments. Then, Jon mentioned the idea of falling in love, which prompted a series of conversations with Viktor and sparked my desire to find a boyfriend. I observed that the situation seemed to work well for Matt and Gary, who each had a wife and girlfriend.
I also thought such an arrangement would eliminate the never-ending flux of situationships, which left me feeling, at best, like a revolving door, and, more often, abandoned for a myriad of unknown reasons as many (not all) men behaved very badly.
Continue reading Poly-Anna has left the building
Several months ago, I declared that I wanted a Boyfriend (yes, with a capital “B”) and, as I say of Viktor and myself, we never do anything by halves. So, needless to say, it has been an intensive, whirlwind two months. And, of course, while I am in search of said “Boyfriend,” I am still enjoying time with my existing set of men.
Early on in August, I finally made it to one of the monthly Polycocktails events, which was great. Viktor (who had been once before) and I went together and we met lots of lovely people, including Frank and his girlfriend, Dee. A few weeks later, Viktor and I had dinner with Frank and Dee, which was a wonderful opportunity to get to know them better, especially as we had spent more time at the mixer with Frank than Dee. Then, more recently, I met up with Frank on his own and am feeling into what I do or don’t want from him. I’m not sure there is sufficient chemistry on my part, but I think he is a really cool guy.
Continue reading Diligently Seeking Someone
In early August, I had my first date with Lawrence, which I had been very much looking forward to since our initial connection on the dating app. We found a mutually convenient date and arranged to meet in his neighborhood. But, it wasn’t until I arrived at the restaurant and saw him coming down the stoop of the apartment building next door that I realized just how close to home it was. But, as I had joked with him earlier, I was happy to come to the East Village and thanked him for not living in Queens or Brooklyn 😊.
We immediately hit it off and jumped right into deep conversation, sharing stories and otherwise showing ourselves to one another. He also revealed that his birthday was the next day, which meant that he was astrologically a Leo. I had remembered that it was 8-8, the Lion’s Gate and noted the significance of this important date to him.
Continue reading Entering the Lion’s Gate
My first date with Gary went really well and we were both eager for me to explore BDSM in a more safe, sane and consensual manner than previously. Due to travel and other commitments, it was three weeks before we next met up, but in the interim there was a lot of texting back and forth. Some of it was simply planning logistics, but Gary also did a great job of giving me lots of information in the lead up to our date. Plus, his communication increased in frequency and intensity as the day got closer.
In fact, on the actual day of our date, the texts came more often and became more explicit, building excitement and anticipation. Starting at noon (we were meeting at 6pm), he began to count down the hours, sending a text on the hour, every hour, and connecting the number of hours to go with something sexual. With two hours to go, there was an extremely visceral response within my body to his text “2….. words Yes Sir” at 5:00 PM. I was already looking forward to the date but now, I was even more turned on to see him!
We met up at my local wine bar for a lovely meal before heading to my apartment. At dinner and then afterward, we continued to tease out the details of what was to come. We agreed to a medley of activities that started with an “Intro to Impact Play 101.”
Continue reading Safe, Sane, Consensual & Super Hot!
On our last date, Matt and I took advantage of his children’s visit to grandma and grandpa’s and he hosted us at his home in Queens. Since his children are usually at home (obviously), I invited him to come to my apartment for our third date. Unfortunately, we were unable to capitalize on Viktor’s quick trip to Europe, but we arranged to meet up on a recent Monday night and Viktor agreed to go to the movies, thus giving us some time alone.
Matt arrived in a torrential downpour, which I chose to see as nostalgic of our first date (on which it had rained). I welcomed him in and gave him a tour of our home. In the lead up to our date, we had decided to conduct research on BDSM and compare notes. I wasn’t sure how seriously he would take the “assignment,” but I took it to heart, writing up a formal document complete with images and a bibliography. I plied Matt with wine and we sat down to a lively discussion on this topic, filling in gaps in each other’s research and generally enjoying the connections we were drawing between the past and present, as we learned more about the history of BDSM.
Continue reading Third Date’s A Charm
I love to shop for clothing, but, as a petite woman, it can be a challenge to find things that fit. Even clothes that are supposed to be sized for petites often must be tailored in some way or another. The worst is with garments that are labeled, “One Size Fits All.” Really? How is that even possible? Have you looked at the diversity of body shapes and sizes? I have pejoratively renamed such sizing as “One Size Fits Nobody!”
On the flip side, a client of mine recently asked me to investigate his options for purchasing business attire. He was eager to have a well-made suit, expertly fitted to his exact specifications and has chosen to engage a bespoke tailor to create his new outfit. At his first appointment, every detail of the suit was customized to his person and preferences from collar width and fabric choice to thread color and button options and everything in between. In the end, he will have a suit that precisely meets his unique needs. Continue reading One Size Does Not Fit All
As previously shared, I met Brady back in April and we had a fun first date. We bonded over cocktails, which led to an intense (and inappropriate) make-out session at an uptown lounge. When he expressed his desire to go out again, he indicated that he would prefer to go somewhere with more privacy (so as not to shock fellow patrons again) and shared that he wanted to spend more time with my sexy persona. I readily agreed and we picked a date for the following month given our mutually busy schedules.
We arranged to meet at an upscale bar (initially the Roosevelt Hotel rooftop lounge, which turned out to be closed for renovations), to give us the opportunity to reconnect after the four-week hiatus. I had been more casually dressed for our first date, so I made up for my error with an overtly sexy, black and nude, lace cocktail dress, which very much met with Brady’s approval.
Over drinks, Brady brought up the topic of a safe-word and stated that it would be… safe-word. I knew from our first date that he was into spanking, but we hadn’t discussed much else in the way of D/s play, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Plus, this was only our second time meeting each other, so I was both excited and nervous at the same time, not knowing precisely what was in store.
Continue reading The safe-word is…
While I left most of the planning for our fourth date up to Tim, I knew at least part of my attire for the evening would be the beautiful AP stockings he had gifted me on our third date. They were black polka-dots, so I paired them with a black garter belt and a new matching bra and panty that was black with white dots. During one of our text chats, Tim had expressed interest in seeing me in a tight-fitting, short dress, so I perused my closet for something that fit the bill and pulled on a black knit dress to wear over my lingerie.
I also knew that I had to make sure that the new sex toy was adequately charged and that I generally knew how to use it (or at least brought the instructions with me). Once it was ready, I turned on the small vibrator and slipped it into the pouch provided in the underwear included in the toy’s set. I then tied them on over my sexy, ouvert panties. The vibrator was in place (sort of), but slipped further into the pouch as I walked to the subway.
On my way to meet Tim, he texted me to make sure I remembered that we were meeting at the James Hotel in Nomad, not Soho, and then he sent me a photo of the cocktail menu so he could order my drink for me and have it waiting upon my arrival. Very classy and appreciated!
Continue reading The power of polka dots
For our third date, Tim asked if I wanted to go somewhere trendy or more sedate. I chose trendy and we arranged to meet at the rooftop bar at the Dream Hotel Downtown. The weather was perfect and I found Tim sitting at a table on the balcony, with amazing views of the New York City skyline.
It had been a few weeks since we had seen each other and we warmly greeted one another and then Tim presented me with a gift… stockings from Agent Provocateur. It was a sexy start to the evening.
We enjoyed a few drinks and had fun catching up with each other. Then Tim suggested that we go to dinner and offered me some choices in the neighborhood. We decided to go to Buddakan, headed over to the restaurant and proceeded to have a delicious meal.
After dinner, we started walking back to the hotel. I was a little tipsy and wasn’t paying close attention, thinking that we were going back to the rooftop for another drink or two. Then suddenly I realized that we were heading to a room. Beautifully executed!
Continue reading Life is but a Dream…hotel