In my last post, I mused, “Can I reclaim the fun [of this journey]?” Fortunately, the answer is a resounding Yes!
It had been a difficult and emotional week. In addition to feeling lonely and much less loved, I also had a heated discussion with Viktor on Thursday night. Of course, feeling less connected to one’s partner is never good, but it felt especially vulnerable in the run up to Valentine’s Day. Thankfully, by the conclusion of our intense conversation, I was more at ease with the situation and ready for the holiday.
This year for Valentine’s Day, we had decided to go to the House of Love party at House of Yes with Gigi. Given the event’s coincidence with the holiday, the theme was Red Haute. Despite planning my costume for weeks, the morning of Valentine’s Day, I was less excited about this year’s plans because last year had been so amazing (See this post and this one). Plus, my last venture to House of Love had not been a great success, so I had some trepidation about what the night would bring. Time would tell…
In spite of a less than enthusiastic outlook, I headed into my Friday with an upbeat attitude, which was rewarded in spades. My usual Friday S Factor class was great and I had an awesome dance, unlocking new emotions and finding new movement.
Continue reading House of Love: Valentine’s Day edition – Some Like it (Red) Haute!
A few weeks ago we attended a Playscapes NYC mixer leading up to a play party last week. We met three potential partners that night and left feeling generally very good about the upcoming play party. That party was this past weekend and it was a really great event. Jeannie and I most definitely pushed out of our comfort zone and tried a few new things with great success. I’ll divide this post into four sections where the first three are not TOO explicit, but the last section, well, you’ve been warned! (And will be warned again when you reach that point.)
To recap. we met Jenna, Connor, and Paula at the mixer. In the intervening weeks we spoke to all of them at one point or another. Jenna would not be attending the play party and we’ve become friendly with her otherwise, so we’ll see what happens outside the play parties. Paula was a bit flaky when we texted, so we didn’t really know what to expect from her. Connor, though – we really made a strong connection with him and it was clear that the three of us wanted to play together at the party.
Continue reading The Playscapes Party
While my last blog post decidedly ended on a positive note, in it I revealed a very dark side of emotions I was feeling. Admittedly, this Fall and Winter have been much more challenging for me on this journey compared to the lightness I experienced much of the previous year. As Mama Gena says, I have been playing ALL 88 keys (perhaps especially the sharps and flats). But, despite these negative experiences, I still believe that this journey continues to be a positive one for me and for us. Thus, I feel a renewed buoyancy as we slowly shift from the nadir of the Winter Solstice and welcome the sun’s return.
On that note, with the arrival of the new year and new decade, I am confident that Viktor and I are poised for great things in the year to come. I am encouraged by the amazing conversations and communication that we have had over the past several weeks. Yes, they have been difficult, if not downright painful, but we are yet again increasing our intimacy and strengthening our marital bond. Continue reading Out of the Darkness Into the Light
Having pretty much given up on dating apps, I’m always looking for more ways to meet potential partners IRL. I’ve met a few through my dance community, but I also have concerns about “messing things up” within that community, so I’m proceeding with caution. And regular (non-poly) events pose other thorny issues, not the least of which: “why is this dude with a wedding ring hitting on me?” 😳
Enter “Poly Cocktails” and other poly mixers. Here in NYC there’s a standing monthly Poly Cocktails event that’s free to attend and draws a respectable and respectful crowd from the poly community. There are also “munches” and other vanilla events for the community to mix and mingle with like minded folks, without the pressure of a play party. Jeannie and I have been to a few and we’ve met great folks, but really never actually met a new play partner.
That all changed recently.
Continue reading Meeting New Play Partners
It’s been a relatively quite two weeks since A Kinky Reset, and I’m pretty sure I needed it. I had a much anticipated date with Justina cancelled cause she was sick and while I was disappointed, it seemed for the best for everyone. Sometimes we have to focus on ordinary life, self-care, etc. Without a solid grounding for ourselves, how can we share with others?
I appreciated the “quiet” time, but was also getting a little anxious about various activities and partners. Despite allowing myself to properly recharge by doing the things I needed to do for myself, I was feeling disconnected from others – especially my friends. I couldn’t put my finger on why and sometimes the why doesn’t really matter. This may be one of those times.
In a mildly depressed emotional state, I entered into a weekend with a lot of friendly interaction on the calendar.
Continue reading Non-Sexual Intimacy is Sexy!
At the end of my emotional rollercoaster ride and my five first dates, I was exhausted. However, Justina, Viktor and I were scheduled to go to the House of Love party on Friday night. And, while I was a little nervous, I was very much looking forward to our first foray into the world as a polycule.
Our evening became a little more complicated when Gigi not only started dating Dan (who is now my employer as well as my friend), but also decided that they, too, would attend the House of Love party. We agreed to pre-game with them as is our usual plan with Gigi pre-House of Yes events.
In addition, friends Lane and Nolan who I had met on Feeld, but befriended instead, had taken me up on my invite and were excited, but anxious, to be there. Plus, my friend K, who had had an unhappy experience at the previous House of Love party, was giving it another go. So, there would be a big group of us there together.
Continue reading Houses and Hearts of Love
On the weekend of Jeannie’s birthday she decided to host a party at our apartment. She asked surprisingly little of me on terms of preparing and hosting this party, which was especially nice. (We already did our own thing the actual night of her birthday and those arrangements were on me.)
The party was set for Saturday night and we had plans to attend an outdoor event in a park during the day. On the way to the daytime event, Jeannie expressed some desires for the day and night. One specific desire was:
“I desire a REAL birthday kiss from Vanessa!”
Jeannie and Vanessa were having this virtual love affair, mostly over text, since the brunch that introduced them and sparked their mutual infatuation. We weren’t sure she’d be attending the party until the night before.
Continue reading A Birthday Surprise