One Size Does Not Fit All

I love to shop for clothing, but, as a petite woman, it can be a challenge to find things that fit. Even clothes that are supposed to be sized for petites often must be tailored in some way or another. The worst is with garments that are labeled, “One Size Fits All.” Really? How is that even possible? Have you looked at the diversity of body shapes and sizes? I have pejoratively renamed such sizing as “One Size Fits Nobody!”

On the flip side, a client of mine recently asked me to investigate his options for purchasing business attire. He was eager to have a well-made suit, expertly fitted to his exact specifications and has chosen to engage a bespoke tailor to create his new outfit. At his first appointment, every detail of the suit was customized to his person and preferences from collar width and fabric choice to thread color and button options and everything in between. In the end, he will have a suit that precisely meets his unique needs.

Along these lines, having recently been asked to host a workshop for other couples curious about opening up their marriage, I have been thinking about how it relates to the world of polyamory and discovering how best to meet one’s unique needs (and ultimately that of the partnership).

I am excited about the possibility of hosting such a workshop because we have found that sharing our story has been very helpful for others. Over time we have received comments and inquiries from various strangers in response to this blog and consistently hear from a friend who finds the content to be thought-provoking and inspiring to spark conversations with her spouse. And, lately we have befriended a couple via the dating app who have become voracious readers of our posts as they consider their own path on this open relationship journey. All of this has been very gratifying to Viktor and me.

But, I recognize that our story is just that – our story! We hope that our experiences can be useful to others as a starting point for opening up a dialogue, exploring desires and going deeper into their own journeys. Yet, there is no one right way to go about an open relationship. What works for us might not work for others. There is diversity and nuance in the way that couples can approach polyamory and, taking a page from a custom-made suit, couples can adapt their relationship to perfectly meet their own needs and preferences.

That said, as I begin to more fully consider such a workshop, I would welcome feedback from others on what topics such a workshop might cover. I’d love to know your thoughts. Please leave suggestions in the comments below. Thanks!

Published by


While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.