Safe, Sane, Consensual & Super Hot!

My first date with Gary went really well and we were both eager for me to explore BDSM in a more safe, sane and consensual manner than previously. Due to travel and other commitments, it was three weeks before we next met up, but in the interim there was a lot of texting back and forth. Some of it was simply planning logistics, but Gary also did a great job of giving me lots of information in the lead up to our date. Plus, his communication increased in frequency and intensity as the day got closer.

In fact, on the actual day of our date, the texts came more often and became more explicit, building excitement and anticipation. Starting at noon (we were meeting at 6pm), he began to count down the hours, sending a text on the hour, every hour, and connecting the number of hours to go with something sexual. With two hours to go, there was an extremely visceral response within my body to his text  “2….. words Yes Sir” at 5:00 PM. I was already looking forward to the date but now, I was even more turned on to see him!

We met up at my local wine bar for a lovely meal before heading to my apartment. At dinner and then afterward, we continued to tease out the details of what was to come. We agreed to a medley of activities that started with an “Intro to Impact Play 101.”

Knowing that this was a new and deliberate exploration, Gary took an intentionally academic approach and explained each implement from straps and paddles to hairbrushes, floggers and canes. Then we selected an assortment of tools for him to use on me.  I disrobed and revealed my ouvert panty, which he was pleased to see, as he applied each tool to my bare bottom.

Gary had given me green, yellow and red to use as my safe words, but, at times when I was more quiet, he assured me that he could read my body / body language loud and clear! For the most part, I enjoyed the sensations, but, on occasion, the pain was a bit sharp, just this side of yellow.

After the initial impact demonstration was over, we shifted to other dominance activities. Gary applied nipple and labia clamps, used my vibrator on my clit and gave  additional slaps to my ass. While I very much enjoying the experience, Gary ascertained that impact play is not my kink (noting that it pulls me out of my body and into my head). Rather, he said I would be a fun submissive; I replied that I hoped I was fun now!

We then turned our attention to each other.  We talked about orgasms and Gary admitted that he couldn’t wait to fuck me and added that he had been wanting to do so since he first saw me. I was quite ready to be with him by then and his words pushed me further. As we proceeded to have sex, it was incredibly orgasmic from the initial moment of penetration and we played with several different positions, which was fun and informative.

Both sated, Gary spent a lot of time holding me afterwards, providing and modeling good after care! Before leaving, he expressed desire to see me again for further exploration and I readily consented. Since he has a wife and girlfriend, I told him I was happy to remain in his orbit as a satellite, but Gary assured me that I am most definitely a planet!

It was an incredible experience and I am so grateful to have made this connection as I continue to truly explore my BDSM interests. I am even more convinced that this is the gateway to my true surrender.

In the days that followed, Gary and I continued to text back and forth. He asked me to forgive him for still being caught up in our encounter, but there was no need for forgiveness as I was feeling it too. There was (and continues to be) a lingering connectedness between us. It is so different from falling in love or even in lust; it feels new and unique, but very enjoyable. A few days after our engagement, we had spoken about sending each other energy, so while I self-pleasured one night, I distinctly thought of him. The result was that I woke him from a dream! And, even though I can’t explain it adequately, I’m delighted by this connection and very much look forward to our continued exploration.


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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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