The Importance of Being Earnest

My fifth erotic party was yet again another adventure, filled with unexpected plot twists and turns. Several weeks ago, Jay expressed an interest in attending (after I had shared about the previous parties) and had asked me if I would like to go with him as a couple. I immediately replied yes and looked forward to the event. The theme was Alice in Wonderland: Down the Bunny Hole. I asked him “Alice or Queen of Hearts?” He replied: Alice, to which Viktor then told me that he no longer liked Jay – but, of course, he was only kidding.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men…
Jokes aside, I actually decided that the Queen of Hearts persona was more my style and had fun planning my costume. A few days before the party, Jay and I met for coffee to discuss our intentions and desires for the event. We agreed that full nudity and intercourse at the party was not on the menu because I hadn’t felt comfortable with this idea at the other parties; the thought of being so vulnerable in such a public place filled with me dread, not desire.

We also determined that we were going to go together but with the understanding that we would be free to hang out separately on occasion and that we would check in with one another as the evening proceeded. I told him about Ryan, who would once again be demonstrating Shibari at the party. He had heard about my suspension session with Ryan at the February party, but I now impressed upon him that things had progressed and he seemed OK with it, noting the way I talked about him (Ryan). I also advised Jay that Jake and Mia would be at the party so he wouldn’t be blindsided, as I had had a text from them earlier in the evening, letting me know that they would be in attendance.

Continue reading The Importance of Being Earnest

Found My Wife in Bed with Another Man…

…so I got undressed and joined them! (Not how you usually expect that sentence to end, right?)

Perhaps I should back up a little bit…

It was Friday night and I had plans for an overnight rave, so Jeannie made a date with Ryan. We’d met Ryan originally at one of the erotic parties where he was tying up folks at the Shibari station. He returned in this starring role again at a second party where this time Jeannie got both tied and suspended by him. I guess the high of the ropes experience created an attraction to him. I’ll tell my version of the story in two parts: My Night and Our Morning below. And you can separately read Jeannie’s version. Continue reading Found My Wife in Bed with Another Man…

My husband hijacked my date…and I really liked it!

I’ve been trying to figure out how to start this post because I initially encountered Ryan at the first erotic party I attended back in May. As the ropes master, Ryan was tying up party guests and introducing them to this Japanese sensual art. But, aside from my curiosity about Shibari, I didn’t give him a second thought. Afterwards, I had a slight pang of regret at not participating and resolved to do so at the next party, but, then chose not to spend the night waiting on the lengthy line (and ended up meeting Jake and Mia instead), so our paths still didn’t cross.

At the third party, Viktor met Ryan when Ryan tied up Marissa and they shared photos and a brief discussion on their shared interest in Shibari, but I wasn’t a part of those interactions. Thus, it wasn’t until my fourth party that I was introduced to Ryan officially. He had become friends with Jason and Beti, with whom we had connected before (and then met at) the party, and the five of us ended up hanging out around the fire pit.

As Ryan and I talked, I began to feel some chemistry and was very intrigued by him. Then, toward the end of the party, I had the exquisite pleasure of being bound and suspended by Ryan. I was definitely smitten, but figured I wouldn’t see him again until the next party. Fortunately, I was wrong.

Continue reading My husband hijacked my date…and I really liked it!

Prelude to (more than) a kiss…

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On Tuesday night, Jon texted me: “Ice Cream? Wednesday or Friday?” I was excited that he was interested in seeing me again so soon, especially since we already had a date scheduled for Monday. Eventually, we realized that to make an ice cream meeting happen, we would need to twist ourselves into pretzels, so we abandoned the idea.

However, while I had his attention, I asked him if we were confirmed for Monday. He replied, yes. I then asked for details on the time and place because we had not discussed anything other than that it would be a daytime date on Monday.

He texted back:text…followed by an address (withheld for obvious reasons). Then, when I asked him what time I should arrive, he wrote, “We have from 10 to 6.” It was so fucking hot!
Continue reading Prelude to (more than) a kiss…

Singular or Plural?

Paper or plastic? Side of fries or a side salad? We have a lot of decisions to make on a daily basis. Most of them unimportant, some more pressing. In the context of the Summer of Sexiness, I have been grappling with what I want in the context of singular or plural. More specifically, do I want to date (singular) or do I want to play with others (plural)?

This dilemma has become more immediate since we signed up for a (new to us) dating app especially geared for polyamorous people. Initially, Viktor took the lead in identifying potential matches, focused on finding a guy to bring into our bedroom and has met at least two in person thus far. This has triggered me a bit, since such actions make things more real and tangible and I have had a few moments of (mild) panic. But I am not sure precisely where the fear lies. What am I afraid of?
Continue reading Singular or Plural?

Advice for Your Vice? The Ins and Outs of an Open Marriage

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Ever since we launched the Summer of Sexiness, friends as well as strangers have been intrigued by our sexploration. While there is, of course, the general titillation of sex and kink, there is also a genuine interest by some in the concept of an open marriage and more specifically, how they might consider something similar for themselves. This has been a very rewarding piece of sharing our story.

Make no mistake, although we are delighted with the way things are going for us, we are not advocates for open marriage, per se. Such an arrangement is not for everyone and I would never simply suggest that someone consider it unless they came to me and explicitly asked about it. But, since people are asking, I thought it might be useful to share my thoughts on why it works for us and what couples might consider if they want to explore such an arrangement for themselves.
Continue reading Advice for Your Vice? The Ins and Outs of an Open Marriage

What to wear to a threesome

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Over the past two weeks, I had been texting back and forth with Jake and Mia (the couple I had met at the erotic party). They had initially invited me to join them at a swingers’ party, but I had another commitment on that date and we agreed that it would be better to connect as a threesome, rather than at a party, given my newness to the lifestyle.

We finally confirmed a date for the upcoming Friday. Friday morning, they advised me that they would get a hotel room in NJ (they live in NJ) and then text me the room number. I had always fantasized about participating in a threesome and was really looking forward to sharing the experience with them.  I spent the afternoon leisurely getting ready – bubble bath, primping, beautifying – and trying not to get too nervous. Continue reading What to wear to a threesome