Tag: open marriage

Prelude to (more than) a kiss…

pexels-photo-1450155
On Tuesday night, Jon texted me: “Ice Cream? Wednesday or Friday?” I was excited that he was interested in seeing me again so soon, especially since we already had a date scheduled for Monday. Eventually, we realized that to make an ice cream meeting happen, we would need to twist ourselves into pretzels, so we abandoned the idea.

However, while I had his attention, I asked him if we were confirmed for Monday. He replied, yes. I then asked for details on the time and place because we had not discussed anything other than that it would be a daytime date on Monday.

He texted back:text…followed by an address (withheld for obvious reasons). Then, when I asked him what time I should arrive, he wrote, “We have from 10 to 6.” It was so fucking hot!
Continue reading Prelude to (more than) a kiss…

Friday Night Lights (& Fights)

heart shaped red neon signage

The Friday after my date with Jon, I met up with Jay who I had also met on the app. Jay suggested that we meet at one of his favorite Italian restaurants, which turned out to be a cute, neighborhood place with good food and great service.

Jay had arrived ahead of me (I so appreciated his punctuality) and after a few minutes of confusion, we found each other and he greeted me with warmth and enthusiasm. He had gotten himself a ginger-infused cocktail and advised me that the restaurant grated its own ginger. He offered me a taste of his and after the one sip I was sold. We were then whisked away to our table and immediately tumbled into various conversations. In fact, we got so engrossed in conversation that we had to force ourselves to take a break and look at the menu before the waiter returned yet another time to try and take our order.

Once our orders had been placed, we renewed our discussions, flowing fluidly from one topic to another, finding synergies in our current lives and relationships and otherwise connecting to one another. We also shared stories about our past experiences and adventures as they pertained to our own sexual journeys. It was a very enjoyable evening. Continue reading Friday Night Lights (& Fights)

He Said: Love, Lips, Lust

(Another long post, another terrific story!)

Over the last 2-3 months it feels like we’ve been hibernating. Expansion and contraction are natural and this was clearly a needed period of contraction and reflection. But during that time, this didn’t seem obvious and I was wondering if the “magic” of our sexual explorations had worn off.

Not only has the magic returned, it is more powerful than ever.

Let me start with a short “catch up” to set the scene…

  1. After some fun events in late fall, Jeannie and I both seemed to shut down a bit – a result of a number of factors.
  2. There were some fantastic intimate encounters between us in this period. And while they were very powerful, they felt isolated and disconnected from our path.
  3. Winter, while overall mild so far, had a few really brutal spells which may have forced the hibernation feeling.
  4. Travel and a brutal cold (for Jeannie) were also disruptive.
  5. We didn’t have a lot of leads on outside partners, either – and no great parties to attend where we might meet some.

Continue reading He Said: Love, Lips, Lust

Singular or Plural?

Photo by Anthony on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Paper or plastic? Side of fries or a side salad? We have a lot of decisions to make on a daily basis. Most of them unimportant, some more pressing. In the context of the Summer of Sexiness, I have been grappling with what I want in the context of singular or plural. More specifically, do I want to date (singular) or do I want to play with others (plural)?

This dilemma has become more immediate since we signed up for a (new to us) dating app especially geared for polyamorous people. Initially, Viktor took the lead in identifying potential matches, focused on finding a guy to bring into our bedroom and has met at least two in person thus far. This has triggered me a bit, since such actions make things more real and tangible and I have had a few moments of (mild) panic. But I am not sure precisely where the fear lies. What am I afraid of?
Continue reading Singular or Plural?

Advice for Your Vice? The Ins and Outs of an Open Marriage

1plus1

Ever since we launched the Summer of Sexiness, friends as well as strangers have been intrigued by our sexploration. While there is, of course, the general titillation of sex and kink, there is also a genuine interest by some in the concept of an open marriage and more specifically, how they might consider something similar for themselves. This has been a very rewarding piece of sharing our story.

Make no mistake, although we are delighted with the way things are going for us, we are not advocates for open marriage, per se. Such an arrangement is not for everyone and I would never simply suggest that someone consider it unless they came to me and explicitly asked about it. But, since people are asking, I thought it might be useful to share my thoughts on why it works for us and what couples might consider if they want to explore such an arrangement for themselves.
Continue reading Advice for Your Vice? The Ins and Outs of an Open Marriage

Strange Bedfellows: Reflections on my date with Dan

water architecture colourful church

In the past several weeks since our date, I have been trying to process what happened and how I feel about it. I was fine in the moment and don’t have any regrets, but I think that I had expected more chemistry between Dan and me, so the fact that it wasn’t as sexually satisfying for me was a surprise. And, more puzzling, when I initially reminisced about the actual events, I had a weird feeling – an embarrassment by the intimacy I shared with Dan. This had faded with time, but was both uncomfortable and  interesting to me as I explored it further.

Although the saying is that familiarity breeds contempt, which isn’t literally applicable, I do wonder if familiarity added to the awkwardness since we do know each so other well. I think it can be a challenge to transition a platonic relationship to a sexual one, after so many years of friendship. And, yet, we don’t actually know each other. Yes, we’ve been friends for decades, but upon reflection, that doesn’t necessarily translate into real intimacy, especially as we previously only saw each other once or twice a year.
Continue reading Strange Bedfellows: Reflections on my date with Dan

Eyes Wide Open

woman girl eyes blur

With an All Hallow’s Eve theme and mandate to don masks, the third erotic party I attended had a different feel to it from the very start. The hostess further suggested more formal attire than she had previously done, which imbued the event with an Eyes Wide Shut vibe. And, as an added dimension, she underscored the importance of being unmasked, revealing what lies beneath and exposing what is hidden from others.

Also, this was my first time attending this party with Viktor (I had attended the two previous ones without him — see Let’s Get this Party Started and Return to the Scene ) and with my friend, Dan. Their attendance added both excitement and anxiety as I considered their needs as well as my own. Continue reading Eyes Wide Open

Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

This one is long, but worth it!

Prelude

After Jeannie had previously attended two very enjoyable erotic parties, I still had yet to attend one. Finally in November, we were booked to attend together and I was very excited for this new chapter in our exploration. Being the Saturday after Halloween the theme was “masquerade” with the suggested attire as “fetish, fancy costumes, or masks” giving a very Eyes Wide Shut vibe to the event. Here’s part of the invitation to give you a taste – and to get you in the mood for the rest of this story…

Tonight we are entering a realm of mystery and seduction. A masked ball. So our ritual is about “What lies beneath”. Beneath the mask, beneath the costumes, beneath the facade we wear everyday. What do we want to take off? What do we want to reveal? And at the same time – what do we want to attract? A room of beautiful, interesting people, the music, flirtation, dancing, intrigue: what can we as a group whip up, what juicy sexy magic can we spin from thin air?

This type of invitation is just spectacular and it really sets the mood well before ever getting to the party. So much to unpack, in the best possible way! But, before we get to the party, let’s set the stage for Jeannie and Viktor.

Continue reading Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

Back to the beach

art beach beautiful clouds

It was Labor Day — one last hurrah before the pressures of work and life were permitted to press down on us once again. Well, maybe that’s a bit too dramatic, but we did feel that it would be our last opportunity to head to the beach for the summer. Thus, we were delighted when the day appeared to be a beautiful one, perfect for enjoying the sun and sand. And to muse on the Summer of Sexiness as the (formal) season drew to a close.

I had visited Gunnison Beach, the nude beach at New Jersey’s Sandy Hook, earlier in the summer with a friend and had a really great time. It was a very comfortable vibe, with friendly people and no pressure; simply the joy of being naked. Viktor was eager to experience it for himself, so our beach destination was easy and we got ourselves ready, packing up the car with beach towels, sandwiches and beverages. Continue reading Back to the beach

Afternoon Delight

close up photography of brass hot faucet

As is often the case with texting, my conversation with Andy left me unclear as to whether or not we had a date set for the Sunday afternoon after we had met at the House of Yes party. Given the ambiguity (he had offered up the date, but had not finalized a time or place), I only semi-prepared to meet up with him (which meant no make-up and a mismatched bra and panty set) and headed to my dance class wondering if I would hear from him or not.

About 30 minutes into my commute, Andy texted me that he was looking forward to seeing me that afternoon. I confessed my confusion and asked if he had a specific plan in mind. After his overt sexual advances at the party, I was cautiously optimistic that he would suggest a real date and not just invite me over to his apartment to hook up. His suggestion that we meet for a bite, drink or whatever else we wanted made me feel better about his intentions and I left it up to him to choose the venue, although I did express a desire to be outside given the lovely weather. Continue reading Afternoon Delight