Tag: nonmonagamy

Adventures in Anthropological Studies

For those following along at home, these last few posts have been very reflective, but I promise that life has not been boring. The dating app did not disappoint in gifting me with a variety of adventures back in April, which I have been negligent in sharing. Most of these have simply been first dates that haven’t gone anywhere, but a few have the potential to become more interesting.

Jesse: As a wine distributor who was excited that I was drinking Pecorino (and not Chardonnay) when we first began texting, he seemed promising; at least there would be good wine on our dates. So I took him to my favorite, local wine bar, where we had a pleasant time. But after an auspicious start, the follow through was non-existent. He finally texted two weeks later, which I decided was two weeks too late.

Polly: She was our first female connection on the app and our first double (or rather, triple) date. We took her for drinks and both Viktor and I liked her, but she was too self-conscious about her size in comparison to mine and chose not to pursue us further.

Continue reading Adventures in Anthropological Studies

It’s A Numbers Game

Polyamory. Its definition is right there in the word… many.

But, how many is too many?

Before I got married, I had had 10 sexual partners including Viktor. Some of those were one-night stands, but most were in the context of a dating relationship. And that was over a period of seven years. So, once I was a married, monogamous woman, I figured that number would never change, nor did it matter.

But, obviously things have changed. When we first opened up our marriage, sex (specifically intercourse) seemed so scary and I considered it to be a Very Big Deal. Thus, my play was limited to outercourse. Then, a few months in, with Viktor’s blessing, I chose to have sex with Jack during our first full swap.

Since then, I have had sex with several other partners, with the expectation that there was some sort of ongoing relationship with the person. In some cases, this didn’t turn out as expected, but you can’t plan for everything.

Continue reading It’s A Numbers Game

All’s Well that Ends Well

Even though Tim is a relatively new addition to my dating life, to talk about him, I have to go back to the beginning. I initially met him at the first party and really enjoyed his company. We connected again at the next month’s party when we coincidentally sat next to each other on the subway. We both kept glancing over unsure if we had or hadn’t met and each equally uncomfortable to ask the other if we had met before…at an erotic party!

At the end of the June event, I was disappointed that he didn’t ask for my number but chalked it up to the fact that he likely presumed that I was with Hank. But, despite his seemingly limited interest, I thought about him and contrived to go to his favorite bar on an evening when I had dressed up and just had my hair done.

Upon arrival at the bar, I did see him, but wasn’t sure there was sufficient interest/ friendship to walk over and say hello. Eventually, I did resolve to go over to talk to him, but by then he was conversing with a young, blonde woman and I wasn’t comfortable to interrupt. Thus, I settled in at the bar, had a delicious drink, met some guys (who were nice, but were decidedly NOT Tim) and consequently went home a bit disappointed. Continue reading All’s Well that Ends Well