Eyes Wide Open

woman girl eyes blur

With an All Hallow’s Eve theme and mandate to don masks, the third erotic party I attended had a different feel to it from the very start. The hostess further suggested more formal attire than she had previously done, which imbued the event with an Eyes Wide Shut vibe. And, as an added dimension, she underscored the importance of being unmasked, revealing what lies beneath and exposing what is hidden from others.

Also, this was my first time attending this party with Viktor (I had attended the two previous ones without him — see Let’s Get this Party Started and Return to the Scene ) and with my friend, Dan. Their attendance added both excitement and anxiety as I considered their needs as well as my own. Continue reading Eyes Wide Open

Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

This one is long, but worth it!

Prelude

After Jeannie had previously attended two very enjoyable erotic parties, I still had yet to attend one. Finally in November, we were booked to attend together and I was very excited for this new chapter in our exploration. Being the Saturday after Halloween the theme was “masquerade” with the suggested attire as “fetish, fancy costumes, or masks” giving a very Eyes Wide Shut vibe to the event. Here’s part of the invitation to give you a taste – and to get you in the mood for the rest of this story…

Tonight we are entering a realm of mystery and seduction. A masked ball. So our ritual is about “What lies beneath”. Beneath the mask, beneath the costumes, beneath the facade we wear everyday. What do we want to take off? What do we want to reveal? And at the same time – what do we want to attract? A room of beautiful, interesting people, the music, flirtation, dancing, intrigue: what can we as a group whip up, what juicy sexy magic can we spin from thin air?

This type of invitation is just spectacular and it really sets the mood well before ever getting to the party. So much to unpack, in the best possible way! But, before we get to the party, let’s set the stage for Jeannie and Viktor.

Continue reading Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

Let’s Talk About KINK! (Part Two)

I mentioned in the earlier post, Let’s Talk About KINK! that part of the reason I’m talking about kink is because often folks are really uncomfortable with this topic. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to make you uncomfortable! On the contrary, I’d really like to see sex topics of all kind become more normalized in our society. I’m not recruiting – everyone should choose their own path. But the conversation and possible exploration alone are enough to freak people out. It shouldn’t be this way.

When Jeannie and I began our discussions, there were a lot of topics that were still pretty much untouchable and a lot of words that suddenly required a whispering voice as if the Kink Police might break down the door and carry us away. (Come to think of it, if they arrived in latex, I’d rather enjoy the handcuffs and a little rough handling. Maybe some corporal punishment would be in order as I’m cuffed to the bars in the jail…Wait… I digress!!!)

Couples shouldn’t have to clear their browser history after searching words like bondage or spanking, yet this is so often the case. In fact, the topic is so seemingly taboo that even when one begins to embrace it, there are so many incorrect assumptions from the start.

Imagine what your partner would think if you searched for something like <GASP!> bondage!

So I encourage you, dear reader, to get familiar with some kinky (and sexy) topics. To do this, I present you two articles, both pretty lighthearted, that will entertain and educate. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find something that tickles your fancy. Or tickles something else, even!

Your Pocket-Guide Glossary for the Swinger-Open-Poly Life

A Very Sexy Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Words

Enjoy!

PS – I’ll be back with some specific kink-talk in future posts. 

Sweet Surrender

54798-30 (1)My first date with Kevin (who I had met at the erotic party) was relatively tame, but really nice. We met at a casual restaurant overlooking the Hudson River, with views of the sunset.

Over drinks and a light dinner, we had a lovely time getting to know one another and feeling each other out for what we were looking for. It seemed like he wanted to take things slow, build a connection and was just generally a sweet guy. I wondered if perhaps he might be too nice/too vanilla but was open to see what would happen with time. And, I really liked his flirty texts; he had sent me a photo of his pool and noted that bathing suits were not permitted at night. Continue reading Sweet Surrender

What to wear to a threesome

monochrome photo of woman laying on bed

Over the past two weeks, I had been texting back and forth with Jake and Mia (the couple I had met at the erotic party). They had initially invited me to join them at a swingers’ party, but I had another commitment on that date and we agreed that it would be better to connect as a threesome, rather than at a party, given my newness to the lifestyle.

We finally confirmed a date for the upcoming Friday. Friday morning, they advised me that they would get a hotel room in NJ (they live in NJ) and then text me the room number. I had always fantasized about participating in a threesome and was really looking forward to sharing the experience with them.  I spent the afternoon leisurely getting ready – bubble bath, primping, beautifying – and trying not to get too nervous. Continue reading What to wear to a threesome

Return to the Scene of the Sublime

abstract adult art back

OK, this is admittedly a really long post, but it was a jam-packed party filled with lots of erotic encounters, so I hope you will enjoy the lengthy read almost as much as I enjoyed living the experience.

Since I had really enjoyed my first erotic party, I was eager to attend the same event a month later. And, while I had always known that Hank would also be at the party, my decision to attend was based solely on my own desires. So, I did look forward to spending time with him, but also hoped to meet other people and press new edges. Hank had talked about us playing together with some other (unknown) woman – me sitting on his face, while instructing her to give him a blow job, but how such a scene would come to fruition was nebulous and I expressed equal parts potential interest and trepidation. Continue reading Return to the Scene of the Sublime

Lead up to the Full Swap

Prerequisite post: Swinging: The Full Swap Explained

At this point, Jeannie had explored outercourse with two new men. Over the course of less than a half dozen dates, she’d experienced most of what she wanted to try with these two men. She also met a couple at one of the two parties she attended and they were very much interested in a full swap. Meanwhile, all I’d done is make out with a young woman at a Brooklyn bar and a (super hot!) surfer dude on the beach in LA. I felt like I was a little behind, but as the opportunity for a full swap presented itself with a couple that Jeannie was comfortable with, I was definitely interested.

Of course, as experienced swingers, their idea of “meet me” was to “fuck me.”

Jeannie already spent a night with Jake and Mia… and not only did everyone enjoy themselves, but they enjoyed Jeannie’s stories enough that they wanted to meet me as well. Of course, as experienced swingers, their idea of “meet me” was to “fuck me.” And between what Jeannie shared of her experience with them, and a few simple photos, I was most definitely interested. I found Mia to be very attractive and while a photo of him didn’t turn me on, I’ve found that how a man looks doesn’t (usually) turn me on, but how he acts can get me very interested.

Continue reading Lead up to the Full Swap

Let’s Talk About KINK!

Many will find the title of the post shocking. Many want to never, EVER, talk about KINK.

Society not wanting to acknowledge KINK is precisely why I am talking about KINK.

There’s soooooo much to talk about here, but the bottom line is this… Kink is normal. Kink is fine. Kink is FUN! OK, not everyone will find it fun; it won’t be right for everyone. But everyone should be comfortable addressing and acknowledging kink. It’s not some dirty thing that takes place in dark dungeons (well, not ONLY dark dungeons at least.) And it certainly isn’t Fifty Shades of Grey. In the D/s world (more on that in a moment) a scene or a lifestyle could be like Fifty Shades of Grey, and that’s cool. But it’s not the most common thing you’d experience.

In my first post I mentioned Jaiya’s Erotic Blueprint and I will, again, encourage you to take this quiz. My dominant erotic persona is Kink and when I discovered this, my first feeling was concern. Actually, no, perhaps it was shame. In any case, I wasn’t excited to learn that I was kinky (although deep down I suspected this and while taking the quiz it started to become obvious based on some of my honest answers.)

Continue reading Let’s Talk About KINK!