Experiencing Intimacy at a Distance

As I shared in my last post, I have been embracing old and new technologies to build connection during social distancing. While the reality of the world generally sucks right now, it has been amazing to truly connect with people – getting to know them better, learning how they cope during difficult times and simply knowing that they are there for you, sending love and support from afar.

Along these lines, Alex and I have continued to deepen our connection as we progress in our beautiful courtship. We have cemented our emotional bond more firmly through exquisite texts and poetry, while concurrently fanning the flames of desire with our “lust letters” to one another. It is quite heady and deliciously arousing! I am pleasantly surprised by how close I feel to him and how much he turns me on from/despite the distance and lack of in-person contact.

With March behind us, we are just shy of a month since our initial meeting, but it has indeed been an intense month with much more activity and interaction than would have normally occurred during this same time period under usual circumstances. Of course, these are anything but usual circumstances. We are happily reaping the benefits of the slower pace of work and life and really enjoying the opportunity to deeply connect with one another.

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No Ands or Ifs, but definitely Butts!

Back in July, I expressed only a mild curiosity about anal sex, but more recently made the commitment to explore it more intentionally. To this end, Viktor purchased a set of butt plugs, so that we could start training my ass to receive his cock. Among our first trials of these implements, I had an amazingly orgasmic session (see my Blissed Out Beyond Belief post). It was an auspicious beginning for sure!

With such a positive introduction, I was happy to be on this journey and we continued to schedule time explicitly for this purpose. After several anal play dates, I became more comfortable with having something inserted into my ass and began to enjoy the pleasurable sensations that such stimulation provided.

On one such occasion, we left the plug inserted in my ass and proceeded to have penetrative sex. It was extremely intense and orgasmic to have the additional stimulation while having Goddess spot and clitoral stimulation. Although the plug ultimately fell out, it was a fun experience and confirmed why Mia was so partial to double penetration 😉.

Continue reading No Ands or Ifs, but definitely Butts!

Miami, Baby!

For our (23rd!!!) anniversary, we had originally planned to visit Turkey. But life got in the way and we needed to cancel those plans, so Jeannie decided that we should take the weekend to party in South Beach. Despite having lived in the Fort Lauderdale area for several years, I really never spent time in South Beach and Jeannie had been there for several Mama Gena weekends, so she knew her way around pretty well. We both agreed that South Beach has terrific sexy energy, and sexy people, so this would be the perfect backdrop to our celebration weekend.

Leading up to our anniversary, sooooooo much had happened that both Jeannie and I found ourselves with heads spinning and a little disconnected. Just a sampling of recent changes:

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A Birthday Surprise

On the weekend of Jeannie’s birthday she decided to host a party at our apartment. She asked surprisingly little of me on terms of preparing and hosting this party, which was especially nice. (We already did our own thing the actual night of her birthday and those arrangements were on me.)

The party was set for Saturday night and we had plans to attend an outdoor event in a park during the day. On the way to the daytime event, Jeannie expressed some desires for the day and night. One specific desire was:

“I desire a REAL birthday kiss from Vanessa!”

Jeannie and Vanessa were having this virtual love affair, mostly over text, since the brunch that introduced them and sparked their mutual infatuation. We weren’t sure she’d be attending the party until the night before.

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A Maelstrom of Desire

It was just a simple introduction on OKC – complimenting my smile and wanting to know more about me – but it was enough, along with his profile, to match and begin chatting. Thus, Sam and I were soon in an engaging conversation that captured my attention. He also introduced me to his wife, Dara, as there was the potential for us all to connect.

Within a short period of time, we scheduled our first date for post-work drinks. The dialog flowed easily and the hours flew by. We reluctantly decided to say goodnight and ended the date with a brief kiss. He texted on his way home (always a good sign and my preference) and complimented the kiss.

On our date, we had talked about deliberately taking things slowly since I am looking for a more substantial connection to which he agreed. But, apparently, my kiss kindled something intense in him since the next morning he shared a very erotic dream he had had of me. And then the sexting began… in earnest.

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Blissed Out Beyond Belief

As a student of all things (well, many things) related to sex, I am no stranger to sexual empowerment and have read about the transformational power of orgasm from Layla Martin, Keeley Olivia and others. But, to tell the truth, I always thought they were exaggerating. Yes, sex can be amazing, but could it really be as magical as they claimed? Spoiler alert: It can!

Last weekend, Viktor and I had a very specific sex date planned. Among his desires, Viktor very much wants to have anal sex with me and we have agreed to begin prepping in this regard. Thus, we had decided that we would engage in some anal play, namely butt plugs that Viktor had purchased for this purpose.

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Book Report: The History of BDSM

As we seek to increase our understanding and knowledge of BDSM, Viktor shared an article with me, which I also sent along to Matt. He was pleased to learn more since he is very new to kink and BDSM. In response to reading the article, he posited the question:

Is [BDSM] a new thing? Did it exist in ancient times? Or is it only a byproduct of the Industrial Age giving rise to leisure time? Because it’s a world full of rules and shared terminology…who’s writing the rules?”

His query piqued my interest and I advised him of my desire to find out. He also expressed interest in pursuing the question and then sharing the information, so I suggested that we write “book reports” which would be due on our next date.

Here is my report:

While the term BDSM, which comprises the activities of Bondage, Discipline, Domination, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism is a more modern acronym, historical evidence through archeology, art and architecture provides proof that BDSM did, in fact, exist in ancient – very ancient – times. In addition, cultural evidence in the guise of books, magazines, comics and movies (and now the Internet) offers up further guidance on how BDSM has evolved and changed as a consequence of human cultural evolution.
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Getting Better at BDSM

I was a little disappointed to say goodbye to Brady but was actually more disappointed to give up what had seemed to be an exciting D/s relationship. I have clearly been seeking such an arrangement for some time by evidence of other potential connections and matches on the app that had, as of yet, yielded nothing.

However, more recently, I matched with Gary who has significant experience and knowledge in the D/s scene. In fact, while I was unaware of this until we met face-to-face, he actually teaches classes around the city and plans to write an instructional guidebook on the subject.

Needless to say, he was aghast when I shared my Brady story with him, but thankfully he recognized that I was aware of my mistakes and would be much wiser going forward. We had a lovely first date at a wine bar near Union Square and talked through our interests and desires in connection with life in general and BDSM in particular.

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A Little MORE Conversation

While Elvis crooned, “A little less conversation, a little more action, please” and also – funnily enough in this context – went on to ask for “more bite” and “less fight,” it’s not exactly a recipe for success in BDSM.

Admittedly, although Viktor and I took a full-day course with Dom Om Rupani, once upon a time, we are still relatively new to the scene. And, I am more aware of my naivete now that I have had time to reflect on my encounter with Brady.

As I traveled home from our date, Brady texted me to thank me for a lovely evening and added, “Next time. Hopefully soon.” Nearly two weeks passed without comment, so I sent him a quick “Happy Friday.” He responded later that day, at which point I advised him that I was surprised not to have heard from him for a debrief of our scene. He apologized for the lack of communication, citing an upcoming deadline for his latest book along with planned travel.

While I acknowledged his busy schedule, I pushed back on my request for a debrief. He agreed, promised to be in touch upon his return home and followed up accordingly. We eventually arranged to meet for a drink on a Saturday afternoon at the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis Hotel (he apparently has a love of classic NYC hotels).

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