Compersion and Jealousy: Not Mutually Exclusive

Jeannie has been busy lately. Very busy! And while I’ve been a part of all of it, some physically, all emotionally, I have not been as personally active as she has. This past month has put a fine point on a few of the notable differences in how Jeannie and I are experiencing our sexual journeys. In this post:

  • Male and Female
  • Attention, Intimacy, Sex
  • Compersion and Jealousy

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Male Orgasms

In Jeannie’s recent post, The Big O, she talks about the (often elusive) female orgasm and how there are many (14!) different types of female orgasms. She also refrains from covering the male orgasm as she’s “not an authority here” and partly because the “mechanics for men are more easily understood.” I don’t disagree, and yet there is more to say on this topic, so here we go…

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She Said: Love & Sex & Magick


For Viktor’s take, see his post.

There’s been a lot of talk about Jeannie, Viktor and someone or Jeannie and someone, but not so much about just Jeannie and Viktor. Well, that was remedied in celebration of Valentine’s Day. We chose to book a room at the Essex House, which was the hotel where we spent our wedding night. I even brought a copy of the original room receipt to share with the staff at check-in.

We were given a beautiful room with a view of Central Park and then took some time setting everything up — creating a makeshift pantry for our snacks and kicking off the weekend with a glass of Champagne. I had purchased a new set of Agent Provocateur lingerie for the occasion because, well, I’m a lingerie addict and also to imbue our new credit card with good vibes as this was the first purchase made on it.

Once we were ready, Victor surprised me with a magical, love spell that truly set the container for our celebration and created the perfect mood, separating the week from the weekend and the mundane from the sacred.

Continue reading She Said: Love & Sex & Magick

He Said: Love & Sex & Magick

NOTE: you can read Jeannie’s take on this here: She Said: Love & Sex & Magick

Jeannie and I decided to celebrate Valentine’s Day a night late so we could book a hotel for Friday (rather than Thursday) and make a romantic overnight of it. We didn’t make other plans around the evening, just that we’d bring in a bunch of appetizing items to snack on, a couple of bottles of wine, and basically stay in the room from check-in to check-out. We set our mutual desire to be really intimate and connected, with the intention of that leading to lots of terrific sex.

It was all that and more! Including magick…

I planned one small surprise for Jeannie – which was my first magick spell. In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, The Alchemist’s Kitchen sent a newsletter that included a spell for The Lover and The Loved. I was really intrigued by the spell and had already been curious about witchcraft and magick, so I decided to give it a try. (Oh, and if you are of the belief that witchcraft cannot be conducted by men, read this article.)

Continue reading He Said: Love & Sex & Magick

She Said: Love, Lips, Lust

adult black and white body female

Synchronicity in the City (& Other Sexy Stories)… Coined by Carl Jung, synchronicity refers to an unrelated coincidence that your mind attaches meaning to. But whether it is simply a Jungian construct or not, there are some things that just seem destined.

For example, on Thursday night I was flipping through various profiles on a dating app and came across one for a beguiling couple. Intrigued, I clicked “like” and was advised that we matched. A few minutes later, I received a text from the male half of the couple, Jason, reaching out to introduce himself. He expressed interest and we traded a few texts before I went to bed.

The next day, we resumed our thread and Jason asked if I wanted to meet him and his partner, Betty, for drinks Friday night since they would be at a music venue that evening in the city. I was interested in the opportunity to meet up, but, we soon agreed that the timing wouldn’t work out since I had my date with Jay that night. As we continued chatting, they mentioned that they were going to a party on Saturday night. Since Viktor and I were also attending a party on Saturday night, I wondered if we might be going to the same place. Sure enough, we would all be at the same event! So, we planned to meet up the next night.

Continue reading She Said: Love, Lips, Lust

She Said: The Seasonality of Sex


To every season, turn, turn, turn…Like the seasons and the moon, our lives are cyclical. We wax and wane. There is growth and death, repeating itself time and time again.

There is a warmth during the Summer fueled by the sun, which nourishes us and allows us to expand. Come Winter, days become darker and shorter, a time to reflect and contract.

In this vein, the launch of the Summer of Sexiness eight months ago marked a huge expansion for me. I pressed edges as I experimented and experienced so much. I felt energized and alive during all of my adventures and explorations.

But, as autumn came and went, I was lethargic and less interested in sex. My desire waned significantly and I wondered if I was done. Then, as I got ready to welcome the Winter Solstice, I was reminded that there is nothing wrong with the need to go inward after such a sustained period of growth.
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Unicornicopia!(And Conjured Desires)

Friday after Thanksgiving Jeannie had a date scheduled with Dan, so the night was mine. With no specific events in the kink community scheduled that I wanted to attend, I looked for a fun night of music and dance.

Last time I was at House of Yes it was for a House of Love part (see: He Said: Welcome to the House of Love) and that night didn’t really go as planned. This time, House of Yes was advertising its 3rd annual Unicornicopia party with the dress code:

Unicorns, mythical creatures of many horns, glitter, glitz and glam.

With a lineup of local DJs that I enjoy, this seemed like the perfect event. Now, technically, this was not a House of Love party, so it wasn’t exactly a redo from last time. However, House of Yes really does promote a “place of yes” where attendees can meet new people and try new things that may be somewhat outside their comfort zone. And as I learned from my first erotic party (see: Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?) setting intentions and desires effectively can make all the difference.

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