Eyes Wide Open

woman girl eyes blur

With an All Hallow’s Eve theme and mandate to don masks, the third erotic party I attended had a different feel to it from the very start. The hostess further suggested more formal attire than she had previously done, which imbued the event with an Eyes Wide Shut vibe. And, as an added dimension, she underscored the importance of being unmasked, revealing what lies beneath and exposing what is hidden from others.

Also, this was my first time attending this party with Viktor (I had attended the two previous ones without him — see Let’s Get this Party Started and Return to the Scene ) and with my friend, Dan. Their attendance added both excitement and anxiety as I considered their needs as well as my own. Continue reading Eyes Wide Open

Illuminating exits and entrances

light trails on road at night

During the safety briefing on a plane, we are advised that lights on the floor will illuminate the exits, making them easy to find in the dark. In some ways, exits themselves can be illuminating, making us more explicitly aware of what we do and don’t want. In the course of two-plus months, the appearance and disappearance of several people did just that and I am thankful for the lessons they provided as I continue along this journey.

Ever since our date at the Standard Hotel, Andy continued to text and occasionally telephone me. His texts and conversations were almost always overtly sexual and while I enjoyed the tantalizing nature of them, it was a bit intense for me to receive from someone I didn’t know well. Continue reading Illuminating exits and entrances

Afternoon Delight

close up photography of brass hot faucet

As is often the case with texting, my conversation with Andy left me unclear as to whether or not we had a date set for the Sunday afternoon after we had met at the House of Yes party. Given the ambiguity (he had offered up the date, but had not finalized a time or place), I only semi-prepared to meet up with him (which meant no make-up and a mismatched bra and panty set) and headed to my dance class wondering if I would hear from him or not.

About 30 minutes into my commute, Andy texted me that he was looking forward to seeing me that afternoon. I confessed my confusion and asked if he had a specific plan in mind. After his overt sexual advances at the party, I was cautiously optimistic that he would suggest a real date and not just invite me over to his apartment to hook up. His suggestion that we meet for a bite, drink or whatever else we wanted made me feel better about his intentions and I left it up to him to choose the venue, although I did express a desire to be outside given the lovely weather. Continue reading Afternoon Delight

She Said: Welcome to the House of Love

lights party dancing music

Perhaps because the experience didn’t move along the action of any of the current (at the time) characters of my story, I neglected to write about my visit to the House of Yes’ House of Love party earlier in the summer. However, now that I have been back to this event, it is time to rectify this oversight and share both adventures.

In July, my friend Gigi and I decided to go to the House of Love: Animal event. These House of Love events are quasi-fetish parties and provide guests with an opportunity to dress up and slightly explore the fetish world. While not a true fetish club (and more R-rated compared to the more explicit erotic parties I have attended this summer), it is a great dance party, with fun activities and an edgier (read sexier) vibe than a usual dance party. If nothing else there is a frisson in the air that encourages people to be open to new experiences. For me, these parties provided the perfect backdrop in which to flit from one event to another all in the name of conducting pleasure research as I experimented with different stimuli. Continue reading She Said: Welcome to the House of Love

And then there was none…

apple apple device blur cell phone

As I recently relayed, I sunsetted my relationship with Hank a few weeks ago and felt good about that decision. While I was hoping to find someone new with whom to establish a long-term situation, I knew that I still had Kevin in play (so to speak) and was looking forward to exploring that relationship in more depth. However, it seems to have fizzled in a most confusing manner.

When we first connected, Kevin not only texted me, but also called me on occasion. After our overnight date, which had ostensibly gone so well, he went a bit silent, so I reached out with a Bitmoji a week later. He immediately responded with his own Bitmoji and expressed interest in planning another date. I asked him for clarification on what might work for him so that I could send possible dates, but there was no response. Continue reading And then there was none…

Sweet Surrender

54798-30 (1)My first date with Kevin (who I had met at the erotic party) was relatively tame, but really nice. We met at a casual restaurant overlooking the Hudson River, with views of the sunset.

Over drinks and a light dinner, we had a lovely time getting to know one another and feeling each other out for what we were looking for. It seemed like he wanted to take things slow, build a connection and was just generally a sweet guy. I wondered if perhaps he might be too nice/too vanilla but was open to see what would happen with time. And, I really liked his flirty texts; he had sent me a photo of his pool and noted that bathing suits were not permitted at night. Continue reading Sweet Surrender

House Guest with a Twist

photography of bedroom

After our marathon Memorial Day Weekend date, I didn’t hear from Hank much and the week that followed was quiet and uneventful in that regard. Then I departed for Italy, during which time texts from Hank were limited at best and I began to question his interest in what we were doing. I was loathe to chase him and instead waited to see what would happen. We finally made plans for the weekend of the next erotic party, but his attention was still a bit lackluster and our actual plans were only half formed, so I was admittedly anxious at the date drew near. Continue reading House Guest with a Twist

A Tale of Two Dates

blur carefree cute feelings

After my first date with Hank, our texting morphed into sexting, which was a new experience for me  — my previous dating experiences were in the olden (aka pre-cellphone) days. Hearing my phone ding with the arrival of his sexts became almost Pavlovian as I became aroused by his missives expressing his desire to kiss me all over, taste my wetness and share an erotic dream he had had.

But, it was clear that we both wanted to move things from the virtual to the actual, so Hank and I arranged to meet up on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend for a picnic. He suggested that we could pick up sandwiches and some wine when I got to his neighborhood, but I texted back that I had a much different picnic in mind. Rather, I was imagining a sensual picnic with strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream and chocolate. He immediately acquiesced to the new plan and even asked me which kind of whipped cream he should buy.
Continue reading A Tale of Two Dates

Act I, Scene I

black and white coffee couple cups

After we met at an erotic party (See Let’s Get This Party Started), Hank and I texted back and forth during the week, eventually setting up dinner plans. As we counted down the days to our date, I was excited and filled with wonder. All week I buzzed with energetic arousal like never before. I still felt ungrounded, alive, aflame! It was amazing and exhausting all at once.

Plus, there was the anticipation of a first date after 20+ years. What to wear? What would I say? And, more importantly, what did I want? As I was getting dressed, I was texting with my friend T who asked me what my desires for the date might be. I told her that I wanted to have an open and honest conversation with Hank, get to know him better and feel out what might about what might be possible for our non-conventional relationship. I desired to feel his desire; to feel his gaze and attention; and for him to sensually kiss me on the back of my neck. Then, I headed out the door and was on my way.

Continue reading Act I, Scene I