Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

This one is long, but worth it!

Prelude

After Jeannie had previously attended two very enjoyable erotic parties, I still had yet to attend one. Finally in November, we were booked to attend together and I was very excited for this new chapter in our exploration. Being the Saturday after Halloween the theme was “masquerade” with the suggested attire as “fetish, fancy costumes, or masks” giving a very Eyes Wide Shut vibe to the event. Here’s part of the invitation to give you a taste – and to get you in the mood for the rest of this story…

Tonight we are entering a realm of mystery and seduction. A masked ball. So our ritual is about “What lies beneath”. Beneath the mask, beneath the costumes, beneath the facade we wear everyday. What do we want to take off? What do we want to reveal? And at the same time – what do we want to attract? A room of beautiful, interesting people, the music, flirtation, dancing, intrigue: what can we as a group whip up, what juicy sexy magic can we spin from thin air?

This type of invitation is just spectacular and it really sets the mood well before ever getting to the party. So much to unpack, in the best possible way! But, before we get to the party, let’s set the stage for Jeannie and Viktor.

Continue reading Masquerade: What Lies Beneath?

All Tied Up … a busy birthday weekend!

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My birthday is very important to me and I consider it to be my favorite holiday. Given its importance, Viktor knows how much I appreciate his attention to planning something special. This year, we decided to use rewards points to splurge on a stay at an upscale hotel. I booked the room for the Saturday night after my birthday, but, beyond that, I left the planning up to Viktor.

We are generally very open with one another and don’t keep secrets, so if one of us wants to plan anything clandestine, we have to be explicit in this intent. For example, on any given day, we receive a variety of packages from Amazon. Most of them are boring: dog food, undershirts, laundry detergent, etc. Given the mundane nature of such parcels, I usually open them upon receipt. However, when Viktor is up to something, he advises me not to open any packages, and I am happy to oblige. Continue reading All Tied Up … a busy birthday weekend!

Learning the Ropes

Shibari. While Shibari is quite possibly the wrong term (technically) to use in most kinkster vocabulary, it’s the most common term used in the west to capture the idea of “Japanese Bondage.” I’ll spare you the dissertation on word origin and usage… Let’s just agree, simply speaking, that Shibari is the “Japanese art of rope play.” To be clear, this may be all about aesthetics and art, or it could be something painful and intense; it may include sex, it may not. My point: ropes are complicated. And for Westerners, Shibari is a good catch all term for those that admire any aspect of rope play – especially if there’s an artistic note to it.

For kinksters, ropes are complicated

Nomenclature aside, both Jeannie and I have expressed interest in rope play. We’ve had a modest number of bondage scenes using black, nylon rope – a good selection for beginners as it is easy to work with, comfortable, and unlikely to cause injury. However, we both also expressed that the aesthetic nature of Shibari, and the idea of restraint and suspension, also carried great appeal for us. Shibari is a true art that requires instruction, practice, and commitment. Where simple bondage play can be done by almost anyone, Shibari “riggers” (those doing the tying) have to make a commitment to hone their skills. And while generally safe, the use of natural rope, and the act of suspension, carry inherent dangers that need to be understood and mitigated.

Continue reading Learning the Ropes

These boots were made for… dancing

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When your summer includes threesomes and swaps, you almost forget that you had a sexy weekend when it was just you and your husband (or at least I temporarily forgot when asked about my weekend on Monday night). But, in fact, it was truly a pleasure to finally dance for Viktor in my new boots. At S Factor, we are encouraged to experiment with clothing, shoes and music to coax out our innate Erotic Creature as well as to see which elements help or hinder in this regard. For some, it might be slinky lingerie, while for others it could be a sparkly tutu or a body chain.

When I first started with S Factor, I bought a pair of clear stripper heels (because I decided that the clear would match more things than black or red and you always want to be practical when buying stripper heels 😊). Anyway, I never really loved them and eventually tossed them out and replaced them with other high-heeled shoes over the years. But, it wasn’t until this June that I finally took the plunge and invested in a pair of thigh-high, patent leather, black boots. With their stiletto heel and dominatrix vibe, they make me feel powerful, sexy and in control. Continue reading These boots were made for… dancing

How do you want to be fucked?

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One day during an S Factor class, my teacher asked me, “What is your desire? How do you want to be fucked?” Tears welled in my eyes as an intense wave of sadness washed over me because I really didn’t know the answer. I felt angry with myself, but also with Viktor. How did we get here? How could I not know how I wanted to be fucked? And, if I didn’t know, how could I expect Viktor to know? And, if Viktor didn’t know, how could I expect to be fucked the way I wanted to be?

This question has haunted me for nearly a year. I have thought about it over the months, feeling into the space of where I was and where I am now. Through my S Factor journey, I have slowly made progress as I have stepped both into my vulnerability and into my power more explicitly than ever before. I am feeling these emotions more acutely as I shift my attention, change up my music choices, don a pair of black, patent, thigh-high stiletto boots and allow my body to move in new ways. I feel myself reaching out for the answer, which still hovers just outside my grasp. But… I am getting closer. Continue reading How do you want to be fucked?

Sweet Surrender

54798-30 (1)My first date with Kevin (who I had met at the erotic party) was relatively tame, but really nice. We met at a casual restaurant overlooking the Hudson River, with views of the sunset.

Over drinks and a light dinner, we had a lovely time getting to know one another and feeling each other out for what we were looking for. It seemed like he wanted to take things slow, build a connection and was just generally a sweet guy. I wondered if perhaps he might be too nice/too vanilla but was open to see what would happen with time. And, I really liked his flirty texts; he had sent me a photo of his pool and noted that bathing suits were not permitted at night. Continue reading Sweet Surrender

Return to the Scene of the Sublime

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OK, this is admittedly a really long post, but it was a jam-packed party filled with lots of erotic encounters, so I hope you will enjoy the lengthy read almost as much as I enjoyed living the experience.

Since I had really enjoyed my first erotic party, I was eager to attend the same event a month later. And, while I had always known that Hank would also be at the party, my decision to attend was based solely on my own desires. So, I did look forward to spending time with him, but also hoped to meet other people and press new edges. Hank had talked about us playing together with some other (unknown) woman – me sitting on his face, while instructing her to give him a blow job, but how such a scene would come to fruition was nebulous and I expressed equal parts potential interest and trepidation. Continue reading Return to the Scene of the Sublime