Tag: bdsm

Getting Better at BDSM

I was a little disappointed to say goodbye to Brady but was actually more disappointed to give up what had seemed to be an exciting D/s relationship. I have clearly been seeking such an arrangement for some time by evidence of other potential connections and matches on the app that had, as of yet, yielded nothing.

However, more recently, I matched with Gary who has significant experience and knowledge in the D/s scene. In fact, while I was unaware of this until we met face-to-face, he actually teaches classes around the city and plans to write an instructional guidebook on the subject.

Needless to say, he was aghast when I shared my Brady story with him, but thankfully he recognized that I was aware of my mistakes and would be much wiser going forward. We had a lovely first date at a wine bar near Union Square and talked through our interests and desires in connection with life in general and BDSM in particular.

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A Little MORE Conversation

While Elvis crooned, “A little less conversation, a little more action, please” and also – funnily enough in this context – went on to ask for “more bite” and “less fight,” it’s not exactly a recipe for success in BDSM.

Admittedly, although Viktor and I took a full-day course with Dom Om Rupani, once upon a time, we are still relatively new to the scene. And, I am more aware of my naivete now that I have had time to reflect on my encounter with Brady.

As I traveled home from our date, Brady texted me to thank me for a lovely evening and added, “Next time. Hopefully soon.” Nearly two weeks passed without comment, so I sent him a quick “Happy Friday.” He responded later that day, at which point I advised him that I was surprised not to have heard from him for a debrief of our scene. He apologized for the lack of communication, citing an upcoming deadline for his latest book along with planned travel.

While I acknowledged his busy schedule, I pushed back on my request for a debrief. He agreed, promised to be in touch upon his return home and followed up accordingly. We eventually arranged to meet for a drink on a Saturday afternoon at the King Cole Bar at the St. Regis Hotel (he apparently has a love of classic NYC hotels).

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