Early in our exploration of an open marriage Jeannie got off to a faster start than I did. She went to an erotic party (Let’s Get this Party Started) where she met her first new lover, went on her first date with said lover (Act I, Scene I) and a second (House Guest with a Twist) all before I got in on the act. A week of business travel took me out of attending the second erotic party with her (Return to the Scene of the Sublime) but on that same day I finally got my end of this party started.
My business trip technically ended on Friday, but I stayed into the weekend to attend a beach rave in Huntington Beach. Before going to the concert, Jeannie and I talked on the phone about our remaining day and night apart. She already had her plans set to go to the erotic party. So I said, “I desire to meet someone at the concert and take them back to my hotel room.” Jeannie very much approved of this and we agreed that, no matter what happened that night, we wouldn’t share stories over the phone Sunday morning. Instead, since I’d be home around 9pm Sunday, we’d share in person.
Being new to all of this, perhaps I set my sights too high. Or not.
Continue reading I Kissed a Boy (and I Liked It)
As I recently relayed, I sunsetted my relationship with Hank a few weeks ago and felt good about that decision. While I was hoping to find someone new with whom to establish a long-term situation, I knew that I still had Kevin in play (so to speak) and was looking forward to exploring that relationship in more depth. However, it seems to have fizzled in a most confusing manner.
When we first connected, Kevin not only texted me, but also called me on occasion. After our overnight date, which had ostensibly gone so well, he went a bit silent, so I reached out with a Bitmoji a week later. He immediately responded with his own Bitmoji and expressed interest in planning another date. I asked him for clarification on what might work for him so that I could send possible dates, but there was no response. Continue reading And then there was none…
When your summer includes threesomes and swaps, you almost forget that you had a sexy weekend when it was just you and your husband (or at least I temporarily forgot when asked about my weekend on Monday night). But, in fact, it was truly a pleasure to finally dance for Viktor in my new boots. At S Factor, we are encouraged to experiment with clothing, shoes and music to coax out our innate Erotic Creature as well as to see which elements help or hinder in this regard. For some, it might be slinky lingerie, while for others it could be a sparkly tutu or a body chain.
When I first started with S Factor, I bought a pair of clear stripper heels (because I decided that the clear would match more things than black or red and you always want to be practical when buying stripper heels 😊). Anyway, I never really loved them and eventually tossed them out and replaced them with other high-heeled shoes over the years. But, it wasn’t until this June that I finally took the plunge and invested in a pair of thigh-high, patent leather, black boots. With their stiletto heel and dominatrix vibe, they make me feel powerful, sexy and in control. Continue reading These boots were made for… dancing
When Jeannie and I began this journey, a lot of our energy was focused on how she’d experience it. Jeannie had more concerns over how this could negatively impact our relationship, but she was also seeking something to help her reach her sexual potential that we both knew was in her and waiting to be tapped. Make no mistake, I’m seeking a lot from this journey as well, but at least going into it, I had fewer doubts, and wasn’t in search of anything specific other than increased fun and pleasure for us both. It was very important that Jeannie have both a positive experience and get the attention she deserve as this began. And so far, Jeannie has had the starring role.
Be careful what you wish for!
We’ve reached the point in this journey that there is no doubt Jeannie has had both a positive experience and gotten the attention she deserves. In fact, what I’ve now come to learn is that Jeannie has tapped into a power that I love to witness, and also now want to achieve for myself. While not foolproof by any means, Jeannie has the power to seduce. She has the power to attract. She has the power of feminine pleasure. This was on full display for me to witness as we attended the House of Love party last night. And this was the first time I was seeing this happen in real time.
Continue reading He Said: Welcome to the House of Love
Perhaps because the experience didn’t move along the action of any of the current (at the time) characters of my story, I neglected to write about my visit to the House of Yes’ House of Love party earlier in the summer. However, now that I have been back to this event, it is time to rectify this oversight and share both adventures.
In July, my friend Gigi and I decided to go to the House of Love: Animal event. These House of Love events are quasi-fetish parties and provide guests with an opportunity to dress up and slightly explore the fetish world. While not a true fetish club (and more R-rated compared to the more explicit erotic parties I have attended this summer), it is a great dance party, with fun activities and an edgier (read sexier) vibe than a usual dance party. If nothing else there is a frisson in the air that encourages people to be open to new experiences. For me, these parties provided the perfect backdrop in which to flit from one event to another all in the name of conducting pleasure research as I experimented with different stimuli. Continue reading She Said: Welcome to the House of Love
Now seems like a good time expand upon the topic of Pleasure Research. This was mentioned in my last post and is a key tenet on this exploration. The word research may seem a little stuffy in this context, but when the result is pleasure, it’s quite perfect. And Pleasure Research certainly has a stronger, sexier, connotation than just research!
When Jeannie and I embarked on this journey, we focused on the most important item for us: communication. Meanwhile, there was also this undercurrent of exploration; we both knew that certain experiences would turn us on, but we most definitely didn’t know everything about our kink or fantasies. Then our friend Gigi reminded us that Mama Gena treats this exploration as (pleasure) research and I think this makes perfect sense. On the one hand, to explore pleasure, one needs to let go and simply enjoy. On the other, evaluating fully the response to said pleasure is key.
Continue reading Pleasure Research (& Some Conclusions)
I mentioned in the earlier post, Let’s Talk About KINK! that part of the reason I’m talking about kink is because often folks are really uncomfortable with this topic. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to make you uncomfortable! On the contrary, I’d really like to see sex topics of all kind become more normalized in our society. I’m not recruiting – everyone should choose their own path. But the conversation and possible exploration alone are enough to freak people out. It shouldn’t be this way.
When Jeannie and I began our discussions, there were a lot of topics that were still pretty much untouchable and a lot of words that suddenly required a whispering voice as if the Kink Police might break down the door and carry us away. (Come to think of it, if they arrived in latex, I’d rather enjoy the handcuffs and a little rough handling. Maybe some corporal punishment would be in order as I’m cuffed to the bars in the jail…Wait… I digress!!!)
Couples shouldn’t have to clear their browser history after searching words like bondage or spanking, yet this is so often the case. In fact, the topic is so seemingly taboo that even when one begins to embrace it, there are so many incorrect assumptions from the start.
Imagine what your partner would think if you searched for something like <GASP!> bondage!
So I encourage you, dear reader, to get familiar with some kinky (and sexy) topics. To do this, I present you two articles, both pretty lighthearted, that will entertain and educate. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find something that tickles your fancy. Or tickles something else, even!
Your Pocket-Guide Glossary for the Swinger-Open-Poly Life
A Very Sexy Beginner’s Guide to BDSM Words
PS – I’ll be back with some specific kink-talk in future posts.
As is often the case with texting, my conversation with Andy left me unclear as to whether or not we had a date set for the Sunday afternoon after we had met at the House of Yes party. Given the ambiguity (he had offered up the date, but had not finalized a time or place), I only semi-prepared to meet up with him (which meant no make-up and a mismatched bra and panty set) and headed to my dance class wondering if I would hear from him or not.
About 30 minutes into my commute, Andy texted me that he was looking forward to seeing me that afternoon. I confessed my confusion and asked if he had a specific plan in mind. After his overt sexual advances at the party, I was cautiously optimistic that he would suggest a real date and not just invite me over to his apartment to hook up. His suggestion that we meet for a bite, drink or whatever else we wanted made me feel better about his intentions and I left it up to him to choose the venue, although I did express a desire to be outside given the lovely weather. Continue reading Afternoon Delight
It was Labor Day — one last hurrah before the pressures of work and life were permitted to press down on us once again. Well, maybe that’s a bit too dramatic, but we did feel that it would be our last opportunity to head to the beach for the summer. Thus, we were delighted when the day appeared to be a beautiful one, perfect for enjoying the sun and sand. And to muse on the Summer of Sexiness as the (formal) season drew to a close.
I had visited Gunnison Beach, the nude beach at New Jersey’s Sandy Hook, earlier in the summer with a friend and had a really great time. It was a very comfortable vibe, with friendly people and no pressure; simply the joy of being naked. Viktor was eager to experience it for himself, so our beach destination was easy and we got ourselves ready, packing up the car with beach towels, sandwiches and beverages. Continue reading Back to the beach
Shibari. While Shibari is quite possibly the wrong term (technically) to use in most kinkster vocabulary, it’s the most common term used in the west to capture the idea of “Japanese Bondage.” I’ll spare you the dissertation on word origin and usage… Let’s just agree, simply speaking, that Shibari is the “Japanese art of rope play.” To be clear, this may be all about aesthetics and art, or it could be something painful and intense; it may include sex, it may not. My point: ropes are complicated. And for Westerners, Shibari is a good catch all term for those that admire any aspect of rope play – especially if there’s an artistic note to it.
For kinksters, ropes are complicated
Nomenclature aside, both Jeannie and I have expressed interest in rope play. We’ve had a modest number of bondage scenes using black, nylon rope – a good selection for beginners as it is easy to work with, comfortable, and unlikely to cause injury. However, we both also expressed that the aesthetic nature of Shibari, and the idea of restraint and suspension, also carried great appeal for us. Shibari is a true art that requires instruction, practice, and commitment. Where simple bondage play can be done by almost anyone, Shibari “riggers” (those doing the tying) have to make a commitment to hone their skills. And while generally safe, the use of natural rope, and the act of suspension, carry inherent dangers that need to be understood and mitigated.
Continue reading Learning the Ropes