Let’s Get this Party Started

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In early May, I went to an erotic party with my friend T. Both of us were nervous and excited to attend, not knowing what to expect or what we wanted out of the evening. I just knew that I wanted to be open to new experiences and to really participate, not just watch from the sidelines. Along those lines, I used the event’s pink pleasure theme as an excuse to purchase a new set of sexy lingerie. I also knew that I didn’t want to have sex with a stranger, but, did I want to connect with anyone? And, if so, to what extent did I want to engage?

Soon after we arrived, T and I were introduced to Hank who was giving each guest a tour of the space and also introduced folks to another. Awhile later, the party got underway; first, with a ritual, welcoming everyone and then, the host demonstrated consent: a key element to the party. At this point, the party was set in motion.

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Let’s Talk About KINK!

Many will find the title of the post shocking. Many want to never, EVER, talk about KINK.

Society not wanting to acknowledge KINK is precisely why I am talking about KINK.

There’s soooooo much to talk about here, but the bottom line is this… Kink is normal. Kink is fine. Kink is FUN! OK, not everyone will find it fun; it won’t be right for everyone. But everyone should be comfortable addressing and acknowledging kink. It’s not some dirty thing that takes place in dark dungeons (well, not ONLY dark dungeons at least.) And it certainly isn’t Fifty Shades of Grey. In the D/s world (more on that in a moment) a scene or a lifestyle could be like Fifty Shades of Grey, and that’s cool. But it’s not the most common thing you’d experience.

In my first post I mentioned Jaiya’s Erotic Blueprint and I will, again, encourage you to take this quiz. My dominant erotic persona is Kink and when I discovered this, my first feeling was concern. Actually, no, perhaps it was shame. In any case, I wasn’t excited to learn that I was kinky (although deep down I suspected this and while taking the quiz it started to become obvious based on some of my honest answers.)

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Who Am I (Sexually)?

Jeannie gave the introduction to our story here. And our intent for this blog is to provide as much of the same story from two perspectives: She Said and He Said. This isn’t to complicate the story or to contradict each other. Instead, this is to enhance the story — to get a real feel for how each of us experience this journey differently. And because, like it or not, women and men face very different challenges when it comes to sex and experimentation.

During the almost 20-years of marriage prior to when this story really begins, I was facing very different challenges, despite being in the very same relationship. I’ve always been a very sexual being, but I have consciously put love and caring ahead of sex ahead sexuality. Over the years of our marriage that I put being supportive of Jeannie over my sexual desire, I grew a bit cold and callous to sex in general. Because we weren’t having sex regularly, I found my desire to initiate waning.

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The Summer of Sexiness: Down the Rabbit Hole

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I’m really not sure where to begin because in some ways this story starts this past May; in others, it begins four years ago; but, if I am really honest, it really goes back to my early 20s, when I was first out of college. Back then, I was enjoying being single, launching my career and trying to figure out what I wanted from life. And, what I wanted from my sex life.

I dated around at first and then proceeded to fall in and out of love with a number of different men, each one bringing his own unique set of characteristics that captivated me at the time.  I felt comfortable having sex with these men and considered myself to be a well-adjusted, sexually empowered woman.

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