It’s hard to believe that only a week has passed since my full-on melt down and yet I am in such a better place in such a short period of time. I have been feeling much more grounded, happier and calmer. I still have moments of doubt, but I feel stronger and more easily able to push these adverse thoughts away. I am also feeling more connected to Viktor as a result of this tumultuous period – it’s not my preferred way to increase intimacy, but I will gladly take the positive outcome to what was otherwise a very negative experience.
As I look to further bolster my mental and emotional health, over the past week, I have been actively researching various healing modalities as I look for external guidance on this journey. As much as Viktor and I continue to talk and keep our lines of communication open, it feels like time to reach out for help. I am hopeful that such outside exploration will permit me to become clearer on what I truly desire for myself and for our marriage, as well as permit me to release hurt and pain more effectively.