Experiencing Intimacy at a Distance

As I shared in my last post, I have been embracing old and new technologies to build connection during social distancing. While the reality of the world generally sucks right now, it has been amazing to truly connect with people – getting to know them better, learning how they cope during difficult times and simply knowing that they are there for you, sending love and support from afar.

Along these lines, Alex and I have continued to deepen our connection as we progress in our beautiful courtship. We have cemented our emotional bond more firmly through exquisite texts and poetry, while concurrently fanning the flames of desire with our “lust letters” to one another. It is quite heady and deliciously arousing! I am pleasantly surprised by how close I feel to him and how much he turns me on from/despite the distance and lack of in-person contact.

With March behind us, we are just shy of a month since our initial meeting, but it has indeed been an intense month with much more activity and interaction than would have normally occurred during this same time period under usual circumstances. Of course, these are anything but usual circumstances. We are happily reaping the benefits of the slower pace of work and life and really enjoying the opportunity to deeply connect with one another.

So far, our dates have included our single, face-to-face date at a wine bar (during which there was a lot of face-to-face as I eagerly kissed him again and again), an hour-long phone call and two video chats. At this rate, we anticipate that our second, in-person date might coincide with our six-month anniversary 😉!

Our first video chat was relatively straightforward, but for our fourth date, we sought to recreate physical intimacy via virtual tools. I had tossed out the “totally crazy” idea of doing a mutual, self pleasure session and Alex readily agreed.

Of course, while we were both excited about the prospect, we were equally nervous and anxious. In anticipation of the call, I realized that the level of intimacy on which we were about to embark was perhaps greater than if we were actually having sex.

I felt so vulnerable and more figuratively naked in sharing this experience with Alex. And yet, because we have developed such a strong emotional connection, I completely trusted him to move forward with it, choosing to disregard the butterflies in my stomach.

In preparation for our time together, I pretended that I was getting ready for a real date – I took a shower, shaved, sprayed on perfume, styled my hair and donned a sexy set of lingerie. I also surrounded myself with LED candles and a glass of wine to suitably set the mood, as I waited to connect with Alex on Zoom from the comfort of my bed.

Once online, we spent time talking and connecting. Alex had the lovely idea to take turns and ask each other questions about our respective self-pleasure practices. It was a fun way to slowly slip into the right frame of mind while also getting to know each other better. We then switched to a game of Truth or Dare, which essentially became a back and forth “dare,” encouraging the other to remove one article of clothing after another until we were both fully naked. So far, so good.

The last set of dares upped the ante as Alex dared me to turn on my vibrator and begin to pleasure myself and I dared him to stroke his hard cock. We accepted the challenges, continued to talk briefly and then I knocked back a shot of Tequila, took a deep breath and proceeded to really focus on my self-pleasure while Alex watched from afar, further fueling his own turn on.

I came quite close to a full climax, but eventually stopped. I was a little self-conscious of the time I was taking, knowing that I had an audience and couldn’t provide physical touch and reassurance the way I would during a usual, intimate encounter.

Then, I switched my focus from me to him, as I watched Alex bring himself to orgasm. It was an incredibly sexy experience, sharing such an intimate moment with him. And, truly, even better than I had expected when I had hatched this preposterous plan.

Post virtual coitus, we spent a little more time talking and then wished each other good night. A short while later, I joined Viktor, who had been watching a live stream with various DJs all night. Not surprisingly, he had heard my climactic moans and screams from the other room and was quite turned on. Still extremely aroused from my interactions with Alex, I was equally interested in physical play with Viktor. He pulled me to the couch and entered me as I simultaneously stimulated myself with the vibrator, heightening my pleasure and eventually exploding in an extremely intense, blended  orgasm.

Fully sated, I tried to head to sleep, but was way too wired in spite of the late hour. As I lay awake, I replayed my time with Alex in my head, realizing that this was definitely not something that I could do with just anyone. It really requires a high level of trust, connection and a willingness to be extremely vulnerable. But, I am immeasurably grateful to have shared this encounter with Alex and to add to the intimacy of our relationship. We have other variations on this theme that we may visit in the future, but for now, I am just savoring the deliciousness of our mutual pleasure and reveling in our intimate connection.

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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