The Playscapes Party

A few weeks ago we attended a Playscapes NYC mixer leading up to a play party last week. We met three potential partners that night and left feeling generally very good about the upcoming play party. That party was this past weekend and it was a really great event. Jeannie and I most definitely pushed out of our comfort zone and tried a few new things with great success. I’ll divide this post into four sections where the first three are not TOO explicit, but the last section, well, you’ve been warned! (And will be warned again when you reach that point.)

Party Basics

To recap. we met Jenna, Connor, and Paula at the mixer. In the intervening weeks we spoke to all of them at one point or another. Jenna would not be attending the play party and we’ve become friendly with her otherwise, so we’ll see what happens outside the play parties. Paula was a bit flaky when we texted, so we didn’t really know what to expect from her. Connor, though – we really made a strong connection with him and it was clear that the three of us wanted to play together at the party.

Jeannie covered our interactions with Connor a bit in a recent post and I’ll include a few more details in this post. Bottom line for me was that he put Jeannie and I at ease in a way that hasn’t happened at any of the play parties before. We hadn’t been to that many – I think it was 3 for me and perhaps 6 for Jeannie before this one. At all of those we were comfortable, but penetrative sex wasn’t generally a part of those. Yet because we were so at ease with Connor, we went back into the playroom pretty early and had a lot of space to ourselves for awhile.

Time for a Break

After we three played for awhile and Jeannie and I had sex, we took a break. In order to do this we needed to relinquish our space and also put on at least some clothes as we moved back to the bar area (which was decidedly PG-13). As we got our act together, two different groups of sexy party folks came at out space from either side. I was happy to move over to the bar and not be a part of the “land grab” that was happening with those folks!

Before we left the play room, I took note of the people and the room. Pretty much every play space was in use and everyone was pretty close to each other. More people were lingering in the middle of the room, mostly watching and possibly waiting for a space. Those in the middle were also in various stated of undress, discussion, and light play as they waited. It was pretty overwhelming, to be totally honest. I had a moment of confusion when I couldn’t tell if it was a huge turn on or major distraction that there was so much sexy activity happening. I was thankful that while we were playing with Connor I was (mostly) oblivious to the rest of the scene.

Mind Games

As Jeannie noted in her post, she asked me if she could offer Connor some time with her alone and I readily agreed. However, I immediately regretted my decision. (Don’t worry, it all works out – but follow me here.) So, we’re in the bar area with perhaps 15-20 people when Jeannie and Connor head back into the play room. Once I was alone, I realized just how alone I felt in the bar area. Everyone was engaged in group conversations and while no one was rude, when I tried to join in, it was clear that they weren’t looking to meet new folks in that moment. I started to feel like I didn’t belong and I let my mind take over with wildly inaccurate feelings of impostor syndrome.

I went back into the play room and, for a little while, I just took in the scene. It was awkward, though, because most of the lurkers were in discussions and I felt like “that creepy guy” just there to watch. Mind you, no one made me feel this way and, reflecting back, no one cared that I was watching. In fact, voyeurs are totally welcome in the scene as long as they don’t disturb others. To be watched is part of why many go to these events! At the same time, I wasn’t really enjoying it because of my own mind games, so I went back to the bar and stared at my phone in solitude.

Why am I feeling so awkward and abandoned?!?

It was a rough 20-minutes or so with my mind spiraling into a dark and lonely place. I went back to the play room several times with at least the intent of locating Jeannie and Connor but didn’t have much luck. When I finally located them, I started to feel a bit more grounded and also as if I had a purpose to be there watching. I was able to relax enough to actually enjoy watching Connor have sex with my wife. It was nice to start feeling like my own pervy self again! 😜

After returning to the bar one more time and having one brief but unsatisfying conversation I checked in on the blissful couple. My timing was perfect because within moments of looking at Jeannie and Connor they located me and motioned for me to come join them. I awkwardly navigated the truly overcrowded play space to get to them, undressed again, and got cozy for a bit. Connor soon excused himself and left for the night while Jeannie and I continued on our own.

I later realized how ridiculous my dark moments were, but I think I needed to experience this and process it to embrace my own desires and needs at these parties. I still don’t know how I’ll handle a similar scenario in the future, but now I have some basis to consider options.

EXPLICIT: The Roman Orgy

I can only describe the scene in the play room as a Roman Orgy because there was truly no room between various groups so it was really a swarm of naked bodies in various acts of play and sex. While I’m sure there are a lot of sex parties like this, our experience to date has been more low key. And I think that was a better scene for us. Had we experienced a scene like this earlier on I think we’d have been turned off. But, now, we were able to embrace this new scenario. What made this different was that we went in saying, “if nothing else, we’re just going to play with each other” – and we were finally willing to try having sex in public.

So we started with a simple plan, and then it got even better because Connor was such a great partner. The time the three of us played together was really relaxed and intimate and the perfect first scene in such a potentially distracting environment. For me, 95% of my attention was on Jeannie and Connor. The other 5% was fueling the voyeur in me as I looked around admiring all the beautiful people, and sexy acts, that were around us. At one point there was a person restrained to a St. Andrew’s Cross being whipped by a clearly experience Domme. The sound of each contact was intoxicating to me and a perfect backdrop that turned me on but didn’t really take my attention away from my sexy partners.

Warning – this is where this post gets very explicit.

After we took a break and I was alone with Jeannie in the play room, things got really wild (at least from my perspective.) We’re now deep into the night, so anyone that is going to be naked and playing is in the room doing just that. Jeannie and I have a very small spot between one couple and a pansexual foursome. That foursome really got my attention and I practically couldn’t stop watching them. When I first noticed them, one woman was donning a strap-on and positioning herself to fuck the other woman. One of the men got behind her and began to fuck her while giving a blowjob to the other guy. At first glance neither guy was all that attractive to me, but it’s funny how that can change when witnessing a sexy scene. I’d have gladly had sex with any of the four of them!

Sure, we’re pretty kinky. But this was a new level for us.

Jeannie, knowing how voyeuristic I can be, wasn’t offended that I was watching them as she was giving me a blowjob. I think she was appreciating how turned on I was by all of what was happening to me and around me. She was also likely processing some of this very intense scene herself as, again, for us, this was an entirely new level.

The foursome next to us changed positions and combinations several times. Then, I turned my head to look at them and one woman is on all fours with her ass cheek right next to my face. I turned a little further and I’m basically watching the guy’s dick moving in and out of her – a mere inches away from me. Like I said, definitely a new experience for me. I began to realize how much I was admiring his dick and I’m still trying to figure out what, in particular, was so desirable. I think it just seemed “perfect” to me – big-ish, but not enormous and very straight. Of course, seeing it in this moment where I was so turned on by everything may have influenced what I was feeling as well.

Was it just a dream?

Quick side story… After the party, I was only able to get 3-hours of sleep before I had to get up for a morning commitment. I had a dream that seemed very, very real and was an extension of the scene at the party I just described. In the dream (was it a dream?!?) the guy pulled out of the woman right next to me and, slightly off balance, turned towards me. His dick inadvertently smacked me in the face and he was very embarrassed. The rest of us that saw this were laughing while he apologized to me over and over. I then said, “No, really, don’t be sorry – your dick is amazing and I’d love to suck it.” He responded as one would expect, by letting me give him a blowjob. I woke up too soon because I would have liked the dream to continue in such a way that Jeannie and I played with the entire foursome. But, alas, it was all just a dream anyway! Right?

Back to reality. Sort of.

Having already climaxed once earlier, I wasn’t sure I’d have an orgasm a second time. Yet Jeannie’s talents and the stimulation of the party were exciting me to no end, so we kept going. Lo and behold, I had an energetic / Tantric climax. (See this post for our previous experience with this.) When achieving a climax of this type, there is no ejaculation, and the peak can last for minutes. My body began to convulse in short, uncontrollable bursts accompanied by deep groans. During this type of climax, it’s hard for me to catch my breath, and as I do, other emotions start to flow as well. This time it probably lasted about two minutes and as I was leveling off, I began to smile and laugh almost uncontrollably. It’s a very blissful feeling and while Jeannie knows to expect this now, I’ll bet it’s a bit odd for others to witness. Then again, the others in the room had plenty of other distractions as well. And most of them have seen it all.


All in all, this Playscapes party was a huge success. I’m finishing this post a full week after the event and I’m still processing some of what happened that night. It’s all good, for sure! The question, though, is how we may or may not want to integrate this sort of party and scene into our lifestyle. Do we want to make this a monthly thing? Or only occasional? Do we want to seek out a few random partners who we have sex with at parties like this but don’t really have a relationship with otherwise?

Lots of questions, but really, really fun questions! These discussions are such a big part of what Jeannie and I love about our lifestyle now. And what keep bringing us closer together as well.

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My wife is the love of my life and my absolute soulmate. So why are we exploring polyamory and other sexual experiences that are often considered socially unacceptable? Read on to find out! Spoiler Alert: These things are AWESOME and have strengthened our marriage in ways you might not expect. Or believe.

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