Non-Sexual Intimacy is Sexy!

It’s been a relatively quite two weeks since A Kinky Reset, and I’m pretty sure I needed it. I had a much anticipated date with Justina cancelled cause she was sick and while I was disappointed, it seemed for the best for everyone. Sometimes we have to focus on ordinary life, self-care, etc. Without a solid grounding for ourselves, how can we share with others?

I appreciated the “quiet” time, but was also getting a little anxious about various activities and partners. Despite allowing myself to properly recharge by doing the things I needed to do for myself, I was feeling disconnected from others – especially my friends. I couldn’t put my finger on why and sometimes the why doesn’t really matter. This may be one of those times.

In a mildly depressed emotional state, I entered into a weekend with a lot of friendly interaction on the calendar.

Friday night Jeannie and I had dinner planned with friends we hadn’t seen in awhile. We ended up spending five hours at their place and just having a wonderful time all around. Then came a big night on Saturday when I was attending a music event with my fan group and a meet up before the show. This would be the first time I’d be seeing so many of my dance music family at one event since July, so I was excited, but also a little anxious about my personally fragile emotional state.

I shouldn’t have worried – these music family events always provide the pick me up I need!

The meetup lasted about two hours and was darn near perfect. We packed the bar, but didn’t quite reach capacity (a past event had some turned away at the door) and I got to reconnect with friends and meet new ones for the first time. For the second hour I spent a lot of time with my friend Katie who I hadn’t seen since June. She doesn’t live in NY and only visits periodically, so maintaining an ongoing connection is a challenge. We first met at the event in June, and there was an immediate connection so we shared text messages ever since.

Katie is a witch, and I absolutely swoon over witchy energy. She’s also a beautiful dancer, and just a remarkably beautiful person. To put a fine point on it, she’s very much “my type” and I wanted to make sure we got closer on this visit. Our conversation flowed naturally at the meet up and it ultimately came out that she’s much more into women then men, so I joked that I didn’t have a shot. Her response was basically that, well, no, not sexually, but she really enjoys my company and we should definitely share our energy throughout the night. I found this very appealing.

I wasn’t always an energetic, but I certainly am now.

Ever since I cast my first spell, I’ve come to embrace and enjoy energy play. So when Katie expressed this desire with me on the dance floor, I was very intrigued. Granted, what Jeannie and I did with that spell and what Katie was suggesting are not the same thing, but there is a connection. There were two things I did differently at the rave that night:

1. I rarely faced the DJ and instead looked back into the audience. I made eye contact with individuals and tried to pick out the ones that seemed receptive to a connection. I either danced intentionally with them while looking into their eyes or introduced myself and got to know them. I never danced with and hugged so many strangers in a single night. And it was incredible!
2. I spent a lot of time dancing with Katie and made the most of our intentional connection. We kept locked eye contact for extended periods and shared so many magical moments together. Eye contact is a funny thing – you need to be willing to get through the awkward feeling and retrain yourself to embrace it rather than be embarrassed by it.

That first point was important, and I’ll do it again at other shows. But the second one is what really charged me up. Katie and I really, really, danced together and we were truly holding a sacred space for each other. The energy flow between us was so pure and so delicious; I was eating it up. We were physically all over each other, too – but without the expectation or question of anything sexual, our contact simply fueled our energy bond. Again, there was a purity in our connection that was so beautiful and so empowering.

That was just what we needed!

During one series of songs, Katie and I shared our space with another friend. When a particularly moving song went downtempo before a big drop, we three hugged tightly. No words were spoken, but the moment was clear and what we were sharing was so beautiful. When we finally let go of each other and gazed in, each of us was clearly in a heightened emotional state. There were tears and laughter and smiles abound. It was absolutely my Favorite Frame of the night! (And I’m crying now as I write this – the connection to that moment is absolutely undeniable.)

The next day we three shared some messages and it was just so clear that each of us had come to the event with some emotional baggage. Our connection was “just what we needed” to let go of that baggage and make space for the positive energy we were seeking. I’m so in love with my friends and with the moments that we can share like this. And it’s such a new feeling for me to share this much energy in a non-sexual way. I truly appreciate it and will be seeking it more and more!