A Kinky Reset

October was quite a month. Jeannie continued seeking a boyfriend. The girlfriend relationship I’d (gladly) stumbled upon got very real. Jeannie and I celebrated our anniversary and reconnected in Miami. We had intense conversations about love and being in love. And I fell into one of my mental spirals allowing my mind to make up terrible stories based on absolutely zero reality. Through all of this we were on an emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows.

As we entered November, we were feeling a bit drained, but also very encouraged that this series of ups and downs were complete. We also had to step it up a bit because our friend T would be in town and we had some fun plans in store. T recently decided she wanted to explore kink and asked if we could find some events or activities where she could get her feet wet.

We found an event and the evening became so much more than any of us could have hoped!

Since the Summer of Sexiness began, Jeannie and I hadn’t been to a dungeon or any truly BDSM focused events. We’d been exploring kink in other ways and enjoying it on our own. But T’s request forced me to seek the right environment to expose a curious newbie to the scene, and I was in the dark. I went down the FetLife rabbit hole and started asking friends about various events. Ultimately we landed on a kink night at Pendulum called DARK-SIDE after I messaged one of the organizers and truly loved the response I received.

The three of us met up to commute to the event together and shared our desires. Despite this being intended as a learning experience, T was more willing to actually play than she’d let on when we made the initial plans. I was glad I’d packed a bag of toys including rope, restraints, and my flogger!

My strongest desire was to create a safe container by which T could learn and explore while feeling protected by the strength of our friendship.

As any event like this goes, especially when attending for the first time, it was awkward to start. The hosts were super warm and friendly, and the other attendees were equally welcoming. But that doesn’t erase one’s own mental image and it takes time to get acclimated. We spent time around the bar just talking with various attendees and being generally friendly as one does at any party. There was just a little more “sexy talk” in these conversations. LOL

Our hosts gave the house rules in the spirit of Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do and T really appreciated both the rules and the fun presentation of them. It was a good ice breaker. Soon after this the female host took T aside and talked with her for about a half hour. This was just the sort of intellectual exchange I was hoping T would experience! And once that was complete, T was full of “I want to play!” energy – and it was contagious!

Let’s Play!

I wasn’t aware of this till later, but Jeannie found a guy she was immediately attracted to and it turns out he’s into Shibari, so they would ultimately explore this, and more. Meanwhile T got up the nerve to ask me to tie her and I was very interested in this, so we prepared to get into her first rope scene.

For a little context, T is a dear friend of Jeannie and I’ve established my own strong friendship and love for her as well. She’s among the few people I can truly open up with AND trust to start by simply holding space. She’s genuine, energetic, and fun. And she’s super curious which is perfect when exploring kink.

Jeannie helped us with a small off the cuff ritual to set the scene. I described to T my intentions while tying. I wanted to be sure we were on the same page as playing with rope is a very sensual and intimate experience for me and we had not had any physical intimacy before. Emotional intimacy, for sure… and because of this I didn’t foresee any issues. But it is my responsibility to properly set the scene.

I will be touching you in very intimate places; I intend for said touch to be very sensual, but not overtly sexual.

As I’ve “learned the ropes” I’ve come to appreciate the power of physical contact during the scene. Twisted Monk suggests that the top should always maintain three physical points of contact with the bottom. I find that hard to do constantly, but it reminds me that more contact is good. I’ve gotten better at handling the rope while maintaining that contact, and using the rope to enhance that contact as well.

Once we’d agreed on our terms, we stood up and hugged before I began tying. Because of the layout of the space, we were close to a column, and I thought it was going to be in the way; it turned out to be a needed support later in our scene! I began with a simple chest harness, giving me the opportunity to stand and press against her body as I worked rope around her torso. After only a few simple wraps, T was already dropping into subspace.

Noting her response, I slowed my movements and also tried to assure that our bodies were pressed together to support her in continuing to stand. At some point she reached out to lean on the nearby column. At first I felt as if I wasn’t being supportive enough but then realized that she truly needed the additional support. I continued tying her chest and really enjoyed pulling the rope across her body, and her response as my hands or the rope gently brushed over her breasts.

Chest harness complete, we checked in before I moved to her hips.

I took T in my arms and we locked eyes. She had a broad and beautiful smile on her face, but I still made sure to be explicit and ask how she felt. She noted a euphoric feeling that was also a little disorienting. I told her that she was likely “rope drunk” and without explaining she immediately understood the reference.

I then knelt before her and began working on a basket weave hip harness. It’s a rather easy harness to tie, but it burns a lot of rope and takes a long time to achieve the desired aesthetic of the weave. Throughout I was greatly enjoying my connection with T and we were also observing a nearby scene where a kinkster was being paraded around on a leash like a dog and then later spanked. It was a pretty hot scene, and between our own activities and watching this, we were both feeling very into the party and its vibe.

Once fully tied I suddenly realized how much of an audience we’d gathered.

Knowing that I had been improving in the sensual movements of tying, I was pleased that we were able to capture the attention of the crowd. I especially enjoyed how erotic our scene appeared while we were both fully clothed. There’s something especially exciting to me when things can be sexy without showing lots of skin or being overtly sexual.

Next I began untying – the part of the scene I hated at first and I’m now learning to relish in! With every revolution of rope coming free from her body, I took my time to pull the full length across her body. When removing from the chest, I’d cup a breast with the rope between my hand and her body, then slowly pull it though to assure she was feeling the light burn as it passed over her breast. And with the hips, I would cup her crotch as pulling the rope out from between her legs. For both of us, our breathing had slowed and the occasional light moan or sigh could be heard from either of us.

A few times I wasn’t maintaining full support and T would stumble a little in her rope drunk state. Thankfully, this was more playful than dangerous. Once fully untied, I escorted T to the couch where Jeannie joined us and we three cuddled T for a bit of aftercare. The idea of aftercare was new to T and while she was enjoying the cuddling, she wasn’t fully comprehending the need to our support or her current state. But, alas, she was entirely “blissed out” and with no need to do anything or go anywhere, she was in a perfect condition.

I was in perhaps the “top” version of her state – rather than blissed out and wanting to curl up on a couch, I was feeling high and energized. Once we knew T was good on her own, I took my energy over to a new friend and ultimately found myself flogging him as he bent over a table. (At the end of the night he and I exchanged numbers and we do hope to see each other again!)

Meanwhile, Jeannie had secured the attention of the guy she was attracted to and he offered to tie her. T and I sat on a nearby bench and watched. He had more tying skills than I do, but he was also less about the sensuality of the movement and more focused on getting Jeannie restrained and playing with her. He tied her to a column and blindfolded her and then played with various touch sensations. At one point they teased each other as they got close to kissing, but didn’t. We couldn’t tell who was teasing who, but it didn’t matter – it was just super hot to watch! There was an obvious energy, and sexual tension, between them. I had to wonder if this is what the earlier crowd saw between T and me. Despite the fact that we had a different energy, I’ll bet it was hot, too.

While still blindfolded, I grabbed a fur lined collar and held it fur-side out and began caressing Jeannie with it as her ropes guy continued his caresses with some claws and Wartenburg wheels. Jeannie would tell me later that she immediately knew there were multiple people touching her but she didn’t know who, or how many, and that she really enjoyed that.

Eventually, Jeannie was untied and we three decided that we were sated and full. We got ourselves together and headed home for the night (morning?). On the way we all discussed the evening and how we all got our stated desires and more. The next morning I checked in with T over text to be sure any lasting effects from the scene were good ones. Her response:

I’m deeply satisfied and blissed out!

I’ll take it! And I’m confident speaking for Jeannie and me as well that we were in a similar place. It was a fantastic night and a terrific reset from the heavier emotions of the previous weeks. Also a great reminder that kink scenes can be therapeutic and cathartic when done right. We’re looking forward to more opportunities to play like this in the future!