Passive Participant

Last night included another new experience, as the polyamorous lifestyle so often does. Jeannie had a dinner date with Matt in the neighborhood and was planning to bring him to our apartment after dinner for a little tryst. We’d discussed the idea of Jeannie using the guest room while I am home, but it hadn’t quite happened yet.

“I very much enjoy performing for an audience!”

I had already met Matt, in our apartment, but after he and Jeannie were done for the night. It was very much like meeting anyone else, but with the knowledge that this person and my wife we naked and sweaty and screaming together just a little earlier. What I didn’t know, that I’d learn at the end of last night, was the Matt really enjoys an audience.

Being the voyeur that I am, I did wonder, though, how I’d enjoy (or not) simply hearing Jeannie and her partner rather than seeing them or being an active participant with them in bed. When they arrived at the apartment after dinner, I was on a phone call, so the initial “hello” was a bit awkward. (I was actually on a call with my girlfriend, and while not intentional, I wonder if my connection with her made allowing Matt to take Jeannie to the guest room a little easier.)

We all said hello and had a brief, casual conversation. I really like Matt and enjoy his open appreciation for our lifestyle and our willingness to be extra open. It just reinforces that he’s a good person on top of a sexy partner for Jeannie!

They proceeded to the guest room and I called Justina back – this time somewhat intentionally distracting myself. She and I were covering a few somewhat heavy topics, so my time on the phone was very intentional and I wasn’t paying attention to the apartment around me any further. At the same time, I had an article to write, so I was getting a little nervous as the night wore on.

The screams of passion

After the call, I tried to dive into my writing and immediately began to hear Jeannie’s pleasure. I’m not gonna lie, I almost got up to sit by the guest room door just to listen intently. I wasn’t sure how voyeurism played out in an auditory space rather than visual, but I was most definitely intrigued. Since I needed to write, though, I put on some music and tried to focus.

“I’m guessing there is no playlist that is a match for overtaking erotic soundscapes”

At some point I texted the above to Justina and gave up on any chance of fully focusing on writing. I turned off the music, and while I did keep writing, I most definitely found myself distracted by what I was hearing. Yet unlike watching, which I find to be a huge turn on, I found listening to be oddly satisfying and without as much of a turn on.

Put another way, I could see myself masturbating to a scene that I’m invited to watch, but that wasn’t my desire while listening. Instead, I kept noting that as Jeannie’s volume and intensity increased, so did the size of my satisfied and goofy grin. It was totally subconscious, too!

When Matt and Jeannie came out of the guest room (relaxed and redressed) we chatted for a little bit. Matt genuinely thanked me for my kindness and openness also telling me that he loves an audience. I had no idea, but apparently I was a passive participant in their escapades. I really liked that!

Ultimately, I finished the article and felt entirely sated for the evening. Jeannie and I talked about how we were both turned on by this scene, but not in a typical “hot to trot” sort of way. Instead the idea of cuddling in bed and reading before sleep was quite appealing, and satisfying, to us both.

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My wife is the love of my life and my absolute soulmate. So why are we exploring polyamory and other sexual experiences that are often considered socially unacceptable? Read on to find out! Spoiler Alert: These things are AWESOME and have strengthened our marriage in ways you might not expect. Or believe.

One thought on “Passive Participant”

  1. Wow! That is interesting. My man friend Rex has a sexual relationship with his tantric massage lady. No penetrative sex, but orgasms via massage and mutual masturbation. I get turned on thinking about what they have done and I talk to her afterwards and she describes what she has done. Then when he gets back we have very passionate lovemaking!


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