What Turns You On?

Viktor knows me and knows my body, so being intimate with him is relatively easy and effortless. I don’t have to think about what he’s doing that turns me on; it just does. But, as I mentioned recently, being with a new sexual partner can be daunting. You want to please each other (if not, that’s just plain rude!) and a very reasonable question to ask is: What turns you on? I have, in fact, been asked this question by a partner as well as by my S Factor teacher (in different contexts, of course). Yet, in both cases, I had no real answer for them, at least not in the moment that the question was posed.

For the most part, I should know the answer, but I think some of my trepidation at answering this question is the expectation that it has to be something that absolutely, physically arouses me. I feel like I am supposed to be able to say do x, y and z and I will climax, guaranteed.

But I know that I am not a machine that will simply respond to various stimuli so easily. There is so much more to turn on and arousal. But, perhaps I am thinking too narrowly? Moreover, I truly feel that I am still learning so much about myself and my body, learning to differentiate what I am feeling with regard to different types of touch and different types of orgasm.

I can say that, as a very visual person, I like watching well-done, high quality porn ala Erika Lust. I also like suggestive texts and sometimes more explicit ones. And, I like genuine compliments.

As a sensual (as per Jaiya’s Blueprints), I like being kissed on the back of my neck and having my hair pulled. I enjoy massages and sensual touch in general and, I have recently discovered that I like the feel of someone’s fingernails being raked across my skin. More recently, I have explored impact play, but, as it turns out, that doesn’t really turn me on. And, knowing what doesn’t work can be equally important and informative as knowing what does.

This is decidedly a work in progress, but the more I deliberately consider this question, the more I can delve deeper into this topic and truly answer the question: What turns you on?

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

One thought on “What Turns You On?”

  1. Well, first let me tell you I am an 80 year old woman who has just discovered sex in a real way! I have one man who is 66 and we are very attracted to each other. He has freed me up and taught me so much about myself and sexuality too.
    I love to be touched gently and tickled. I love his fingers around the outside of my vagina and his tongue flicking my clitoris. I JUST LOVE THAT! Also when he does that I go mad with desire when he then puts a finger inside my wee rear hole! I come almost immediately. I am a “squirter” apparently. So when he explores inside my vagina I gush very quickly. I love to be undressed very slowly and massaged all over.
    And that’s about it heehee!


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