All’s Well that Ends Well

Even though Tim is a relatively new addition to my dating life, to talk about him, I have to go back to the beginning. I initially met him at the first party and really enjoyed his company. We connected again at the next month’s party when we coincidentally sat next to each other on the subway. We both kept glancing over unsure if we had or hadn’t met and each equally uncomfortable to ask the other if we had met before…at an erotic party!

At the end of the June event, I was disappointed that he didn’t ask for my number but chalked it up to the fact that he likely presumed that I was with Hank. But, despite his seemingly limited interest, I thought about him and contrived to go to his favorite bar on an evening when I had dressed up and just had my hair done.

Upon arrival at the bar, I did see him, but wasn’t sure there was sufficient interest/ friendship to walk over and say hello. Eventually, I did resolve to go over to talk to him, but by then he was conversing with a young, blonde woman and I wasn’t comfortable to interrupt. Thus, I settled in at the bar, had a delicious drink, met some guys (who were nice, but were decidedly NOT Tim) and consequently went home a bit disappointed.

Reflecting on the experience the next day, I wrote:
Still trying to figure out how I was feeling in response to Tim’s lack of interest in me and then seeing him at the bar. I wanted him to notice me, but he didn’t. Why am I so obsessed with him? Is it because he doesn’t want me? My focus on him marred what was otherwise a lovely evening. It upsets me that I allowed this to negatively influence how I felt. I don’t want to give him this kind of power. To ignore me is an aphrodisiac? That makes no sense, but perhaps it does because I crave attention.

Over time, I became distracted with other things and other people and he somewhat slipped from my mind.

Fast forward a few months and I next saw Tim at the November party, which I attended with Viktor and Dan. We had a nice conversation and finally exchanged contact information so that I could send him a link to my wine article but there was limited response, so I once again moved on.

After several months, we next reconnected at the April party, during which I was standing, talking to him, nearly nude in only rope and a thong. I guess I finally got his attention 😉! At the party we talked about Barcelona and he also mentioned the possibility of a wine job with his firm, so when he emailed me to make plans, I didn’t know if it was a date. In fact, I still didn’t know if it was a date until midway through the evening, at which point he finally kissed me!

Since that first date, we’ve been out again and have another date on the near horizon. I really do enjoy his company. He is very generous with his compliments and gives me his full attention. I am also having fun with all of our texting, which has run the gamut from sharing our daily lives and flirty banter to to more vulnerable conversations and sending sexy pictures. I am excited about what will come next; hopefully, in spite of taking year to get here, things are just getting started.

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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