Happy Polyversary: A Love Letter to Viktor

My dearest Viktor,

Wow! I can’t believe that this past year has flown by. It has been such an amazing experience to go on this polyamorous journey with you as we pushed, prodded and pulled our marriage in new and exciting ways. Even more unbelievable is how much this has brought us closer together, increased our intimacy and dramatically improved our sex lives!

Early on in our marriage, when I was convinced that I was “broken,” you stood by your conviction that you would rather be with me without sex than be with someone else with lots of sex. I even encouraged you to find a mistress, but you chose not to pursue this option. Instead, we found ways to maintain our connection and bond, but it was frustrating for both of us as we endured an undersexed marriage.

Despite this mutual frustration, we continued to thrive as a couple and I always knew I had your unwavering support whether it was my pursuit of S Factor and Mama Gena’s School of the Womanly Arts or me dragging you to participate in a Tantra class, a D/s workshop, and enrolling us in Jaiya’s program.  No matter what, you always jumped in with both feet!

So, I knew that when I came to you with the idea of an open marriage way back in 2014, you would be willing to hear me out. You listened with an open heart and an open mind and, as we continued to revisit the topic from time to time, I felt even more sure that this was the right path for us to take, as we discussed what such an arrangement might look or feel like.

Regardless, I was just so thrilled to be having these conversations and so grateful to have made new friends who inspired me to question the status quo and consider a new paradigm for our sex lives. And, you so lovingly welcomed Kay into our lives as we took baby steps in this direction.

Walking into that first erotic party last May without you was both exciting and terrifying. I had no idea what to expect or what might happen. Yet, even though we hadn’t expressly discussed anything, I knew I had your full support for whatever might occur. And, your beautiful and loving response the next day, as I shared my experiences with you, reinforced that this was the moment we had been waiting for.

As the initial months of the summer progressed, it was clear that we had truly arrived at the Summer of Sexiness! Since that first fateful night, our individual and shared encounters have brought us closer, deepened my love for you, ignited my desire and opened me up to so much more.

With this first anniversary upon us, I want to thank you for having the courage to take this journey with me. Thank you for holding space when I needed it. Thank you for standing for me and my desire always. Thank you for standing for your own desires and sexuality. Thank you for being vulnerable. Thank you for being open. Thank you for your compersion and for your willingness to let me know when you felt less so. Thank you for your sense of humor. Thank you for your masculine and feminine energies. Thank you for your financial, emotional and physical support. Thank you for loving me despite my fuck-ups and maybe even loving me because of them as well. Thank you for your unconditional love.

I know that we still have so much more to explore and learn and I eagerly await this next chapter. I know that our love will continue to blossom and grow as we once again enter the Summer of Sexiness!

With love, lust and an open heart,

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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