As Jeannie and I approach our 1-year “poly-versary” we’ve been reflecting on this journey a lot lately. We’re also in a period of reflection as we’re noting pivot points in the relationships we’ve created; and we must lead them where we want them to go. To that end, some of those relationships may end.
One thing I’ve been reflecting on is Jeannie’s growth as an empowered and passionate woman with regard to dating. How she has managed herself, and her partners, is something I have been acutely aware of all along. And it has taken a few bumps, and a lot of patience on my part, to let Jeannie grow into what she is today.
While her development as a dating partner isn’t about me, we must admit that everything in a polyamorous relationship has an impact on both partners. Yet it’s usually more “about” one partner than the other. Perhaps that’s precisely what I’ve learned through all this – I can’t simply let Jeannie do whatever she wants, but I also can’t expect her to blindly do whatever I say, either. Nor would I want that. If I wanted a slave to my commands I’d find a lifestyle submissive for that!
Here’s the perfect example and the reason I wanted to write this post. Early on in her newfound dating, I felt that Jeannie was “settling” for the partners that were giving her attention. I felt that she was falling into the trap of having new toys and just wanting to play with them. I expressed some of this, but I mostly tried to let her find her way and learn what works for her.
She had a few failed experiments, but no one got hurt, and she learned so much about herself in the process. I’ve watched her schedule way too many dates, or give a guy more than a few second chances along the way. But now? Nope. Jeannie is a completely different dating woman now. And, prospective partners be warned… don’t f–k it up!
In short, she’s a powerful goddess
Now I watch as Jeannie will cut off the partner that doesn’t give her the attention she deserves. Now I see how she doesn’t give second chances. Now she asks, nay, demands that her partners take the lead in making plans; and assuring they are plans that will satisfy her pleasure.
I’ve known Jeannie to be this powerful all along. And being with her and experiencing her power has made me more powerful, too. But there’s an entirely new thrill now: both when she tells that guy that he’s not enough for her, and when she tells me about the other guys that is absolutely what she desires. It’s all a great thrill!
Jeannie, I love and appreciate and respect you for who you are and I embrace and welcome your power. Now I’m enjoying watching you get everything you want and need from our explorations. May this be just one of many observations to celebrate for our poly-versary!