She Said: The Seasonality of Sex


To every season, turn, turn, turn…Like the seasons and the moon, our lives are cyclical. We wax and wane. There is growth and death, repeating itself time and time again.

There is a warmth during the Summer fueled by the sun, which nourishes us and allows us to expand. Come Winter, days become darker and shorter, a time to reflect and contract.

In this vein, the launch of the Summer of Sexiness eight months ago marked a huge expansion for me. I pressed edges as I experimented and experienced so much. I felt energized and alive during all of my adventures and explorations.

But, as autumn came and went, I was lethargic and less interested in sex. My desire waned significantly and I wondered if I was done. Then, as I got ready to welcome the Winter Solstice, I was reminded that there is nothing wrong with the need to go inward after such a sustained period of growth.

I am learning to listen to my body and to honor what she is feeling in all seasons. I am recognizing that I am in a period of contraction and am choosing to find myself right instead of worrying about how this might be negative.

I am honoring my need to rest, while at the same time I am renewing my commitment to this journey.

Also, as the new year dawns, I am taking the opportunity to reflect on what I want, need and desire. I see that is important to me to maintain deep connection with Viktor. And to do so, we need to redouble our efforts to schedule date nights and make specific plans that bring us together on a regular basis.

I need to re-establish my Yoni egg practice since I want to enhance my sensitivity and ability.

I need to re-commit to self pleasure and to explore what I learned from Sheri Winston’s book to more easily understand my orgasm and how to achieve it.

I need to get clarity on what I want with regard to dating, sex and intimacy. In this regard, I am still unclear. I like the idea of dating, but so far, none of those experiences have been satisfying in the way I had hoped they would.

I have had both positive and negative experiences in the bedroom, all of which have been learning experiences as I learn about my turn on and take responsibility for my desire and orgasm.

And, I have learned to trust myself, set firm boundaries and give voice to my Yes and to my No. I will not do anything that my body is not wholeheartedly on board with; I will protect myself and my body.

It feels so good to have come this far.

And, yet, there is much more to investigate, so much further to go.

The days are slowly getting longer and brighter. I have no doubt that a new season of expansion is on the horizon. But, until then I will honor my need to recharge so that I will be ready when the time comes.

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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