This passage from Vigyan Bhairav Tantra really resonates with me:

While being caressed, Sweet Princess, enter the caress as everlasting life.

And as with many things tantra, anticipation is an underlying theme. Maybe this passage doesn’t blatantly speak to anticipation, but I think you’ll see my point in a moment.

Jeannie and I have dabbled in tantra research, and recently she’s reading a book with some specific techniques. A few weeks ago she taught me a very basic tantric breathing technique and it was pretty incredible. So the other night when she asked if I was interested in trying another technique, I was all for it.

The concept is simple in theory and difficult in practice. I’ll oversimplify for this blog, but basically, it’s the idea of working “from the outside in” and building anticipation. Again, kind of obvious, but start with gentle petting, light kissing, and intentioned breathing. Take your time and build up the connection between the partners. Allow each to completely relax and allow the anticipation to build up to the point that your partner is begging for more. If done right, by the time you get to the more intimate parts of your partner’s body, each and every motion and touch will be explosive.

I was absolutely floored with the difference in Jeannie’s response. We’ve always had a pretty good connection with each other, but to see her body react to my touch so clearly and so fully was such a high! Eventually Jeannie, practically screaming, asked me, no, more like demanded, that I take her now.

She sounded like she was having a mini-orgasm with each thrust

The next five or ten minutes were the best sex of my life (I can’t speak for Jeannie, but I think she felt the same.) She sounded like she was having a mini-orgasm with each thrust and that, alone, was such a turn on. Her body was so prepared, and excited, and ready for sex, that I could feel her inner walls engorged and practically grabbing hold of me with each movement. I knew I wasn’t going to last long, but it was so worth it!

The moral of the story is to never under estimate anticipation. And as the tantra passage above notes, it’s all about a proper caress from your partner, and being able to completely give in to that caress.

Another very different note on anticipation:

The next morning I was writing a post (He Said: Shame? Shame!) and Jeannie asked if I’d just posted to the blog. When I confirmed, she was somewhat elated. I asked why that makes her so happy and she said, “I love when you post – it gives me something to look forward to later in the day!” I didn’t know my posts had this impact, but I’m glad they do. And I’m glad Jeannie gives in to this anticipation as well.

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My wife is the love of my life and my absolute soulmate. So why are we exploring polyamory and other sexual experiences that are often considered socially unacceptable? Read on to find out! Spoiler Alert: These things are AWESOME and have strengthened our marriage in ways you might not expect. Or believe.

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