Sweet Surrender

54798-30 (1)My first date with Kevin (who I had met at the erotic party) was relatively tame, but really nice. We met at a casual restaurant overlooking the Hudson River, with views of the sunset.

Over drinks and a light dinner, we had a lovely time getting to know one another and feeling each other out for what we were looking for. It seemed like he wanted to take things slow, build a connection and was just generally a sweet guy. I wondered if perhaps he might be too nice/too vanilla but was open to see what would happen with time. And, I really liked his flirty texts; he had sent me a photo of his pool and noted that bathing suits were not permitted at night.

During dinner, he complimented me and used the specific word – stunning – that I had written on my desire list for the date. After dinner, we walked along the river in the park, stopping to kiss for a long time. They were very tantalizing kisses and I enjoyed being held by him. Then he drove me home (which had been another written desire).

After our first date, Kevin and I made plans to meet up a few weeks later. I didn’t hear from him much after that and my interest in him waned a bit as a result. But, the week of the scheduled date, I texted him to see if we were still on and he said yes. Since he lives on Long Island, we arranged that I would take the train out east on a Friday evening, but left the specific plans a bit vague.

While I was on the train, he texted that he had made a restaurant reservation and asked if that was okay with me. I replied that it was and was secretly pleased that he was stepping up and making an effort since I felt a little less wanted due to the limited contact and his need to truncate our date due to his kids. I certainly understood and respected that his kids come first, but I wanted (and need) to feel special and desired in these relationships.

Upon arrival, Kevin met me at the train station and then drove us into town for dinner. We dined at a lovely Argentine restaurant, catching up a bit and getting to know one another better. Afterward, we headed to a wine bar in the neighboring town, enjoying a glass of wine and flirting with each other. We chose to stop at one glass and then return to his home. Once inside, he gave me a tour and then opened a bottle of wine.

We took our glasses to Kevin’s bedroom and began to sip our wine, but they were soon forgotten as he unzipped and took off my dress, pushed me back on the bed and began to kiss me, really kiss me. Next, he stopped briefly to admire my lingerie and my body, before he unhooked my bra, removing it and my panties. Adjusting me further up on the bed, he started to kiss my nipples, then my stomach and then proceeded to lick my pussy, just as I had desired. It felt really good, but I wasn’t fully relaxed and turned on yet.

Shortly after, he paused and took off his clothes. We resumed kissing and then suddenly he surprised me by attempting to have intercourse. Admittedly, we should have had this conversation earlier, but since our first date (and his comments about sex) had seemed relatively tame, I was under the (mis)impression that he wanted to take things more slowly. Clearly, I was wrong. While I was not disappointed that he wanted to move more quickly, I stopped him and explained that I was not yet ready to have intercourse with anyone other than my husband and he complied with my wishes.

Instead, we continued to kiss and touch one another, turning each other on and enjoying the co-mingling of our bodies. Some time later, I asked him if he still had handcuffs (he is a retired police-detective). He does. I indicated that it was too soon for me to fully trust being handcuffed, but acknowledged that I had liked it when he had held my wrists down tightly. He asked if I was willing to be tied up and blindfolded and I immediately consented, so he went to retrieve some neckties to repurpose. He initially tied my wrists together, but then we decided it was better to tie each wrist to the bed.

With my eyes blindfolded and arms secured to the bed, he licked and sucked my breasts and my clitoris, not quite pushing me over, but definitely keeping me near the edge of orgasm for some time. It was delicious and exquisite and felt amazing. I loved the feeling of being subdued, making it easier for me to surrender. I still couldn’t fully surrender, likely due to us not knowing each other very well, but it was a wonderful experience.

Eventually, we turned off the lights and went to sleep. I dozed throughout the night, alternating between being held in his arms and rolling over on my side to try to actually sleep. Several hours later, the early morning light filtered in through the windows, rousing us from our slumber. Once awake, we resumed our sexual play, then showered together. He made me coffee and an English muffin before driving me all the way back to the city and walking me to my door, leaving his touch on my body and his kiss on my lips.

Image courtesy of https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31705

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While happily married to my soulmate for 20+ years, after years of body shame and sexual shutdown, I am ready to step into my sexual power as we open up our relationship and explore the possibilities.

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