Who Am I (Sexually)?

Jeannie gave the introduction to our story here. And our intent for this blog is to provide as much of the same story from two perspectives: She Said and He Said. This isn’t to complicate the story or to contradict each other. Instead, this is to enhance the story — to get a real feel for how each of us experience this journey differently. And because, like it or not, women and men face very different challenges when it comes to sex and experimentation.

During the almost 20-years of marriage prior to when this story really begins, I was facing very different challenges, despite being in the very same relationship. I’ve always been a very sexual being, but I have consciously put love and caring ahead of sex ahead sexuality. Over the years of our marriage that I put being supportive of Jeannie over my sexual desire, I grew a bit cold and callous to sex in general. Because we weren’t having sex regularly, I found my desire to initiate waning.

So when Jeannie reached a point where her desire was increasing, we were facing a role reversal that would have effectively put us on the same path – a very loving marriage, but one without sexual satisfaction. I had to get back in touch with my own desires. More than that, I had to go deeper to understand and embrace my truest desires. Who am I, really, as a sexual being?

There are so many things that have gotten us here, but for me the turning point was Jaiya’s Erotic Blueprint. If you really want to understand your sexuality and understand yourself, take this quiz. And be honest, brutally honest, with your answers. If you take it with your partner, do it separately, then share the results. But be prepared to discuss things you may have avoided in the past, or may not have even known about yourself. And certainly didn’t know about your partner.

What did I discover? I’m kinky, so very kinky! And sexual. And physical. Sure, I enjoy music, candles, a feathery touch, light kisses and all those sensual turn-ons. But what really gets me off? KINK! And I can say with the utmost honesty, while I knew I wasn’t entirely “vanilla” I did not realize what I truly wanted until taking this quiz. Or, perhaps I did, but because of shame and lack of understanding about kink, I buried it deep and never let it out.

Up next, let’s talk about KINK!

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My wife is the love of my life and my absolute soulmate. So why are we exploring polyamory and other sexual experiences that are often considered socially unacceptable? Read on to find out! Spoiler Alert: These things are AWESOME and have strengthened our marriage in ways you might not expect. Or believe.

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